Archive for Battlestar Galactica

Glam Space Robots

Posted in Aliens, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, TV Vixens, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on February 2, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

War of the Robots

The Italian-made War of the Robots (aka, La Guerra del Robots/1978) looks like a junior high school production of Battlestar Galactica and employs some of the worst sub-budget special effects this side of the singing toilet paper holder in my bathroom that plays “Wipeout” every time I need a PMT (“Personal Moment Tissue.”)

War of the Robots

Hum-bots (looks like humans, made of robot) on the dying planet of Atheron are causing headaches for everyone, especially after they kidnap a space commander’s girlfriend and a genetic scientist. (The Hum-Bots, it should be noted, all have Prince Valiant hair styles and wear shiny silver suits licensed from ABBA. Not sure why robots need hair – it’d rust when you shampoo it.)

War of the Robots

The chase leads the space troopers to Atheron and a battle with ray guns ensues. The rescuers, however,  find the girlfriend and professor have been named the planet’s Emperor and Empress and are now doing evil stuff. (That didn’t take long for them to renounce their goody-goody Earth ways.)

War of the Robots

But wait – a sweet long con is being played. The girlfriend fakes being evil (or is she faking being good?) and they all take off in plastic spaceships. An army of UFOs goes after or “pursues” them. Thanks the stars somebody had a copy machine – one spaceship turns into 43 at the push of a button. And when spaceships are blasted, they explode silently in a burst of light, leaving no debris. The future is so clean.

War of the RobotsWar of the Robots is a painful sci-fi experience. There were only seven blonde robots, but since they all look identical they were re-used throughout the movie. (I watched the same guy get killed 17 times.) The UFOs look like they were modeled after Space Invaders ™. The space helmets look like old radio tube transistors. And those glittery clothes – Liberace must be rolling around Uranus.

Z-Grade Godzilla

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 14, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Reptilian

“This guy makes Godzilla look like a p*ssy!” shouts one army guy shooting his machine gun at an alien monster the size of Godzilla’s recycling bins.

Reptilian

Reptilian (1999), a Korean creation (Yonggary) ripped off by American filmmakers, looks a heckuva lot like the U.S. version of ’Zilla and has a lot of the same mannerisms and breath problems. Its bones discovered in the desert, Reptilian is unearthed by nefarious archeologists who, after deciphering hieroglyphics left by an alien race, have figured out an invasion is forthcoming – with a revived Reptilian clearing the road.

Reptilian

The climactic battle in New York is an almost scene-by-scene lift from Godzilla ’98, with the military causing most of the downtown damage by missing(!) the 40-story reptile with their warheads.

Reptilian

While the destruction is impressive and the effects “meh” passable, it’s the unintentionally hilarious (and embarrassing) dialogue (see first sentence)  that’ll destroy your funnybone. Army guys buzzing Reptilian with jet packs strapped to their backs (human bottle rockets) is right up there with the Battlestar Galactica-esque aliens looking like they were glued together as if made from a modeling kit.

Leave Reptilian buried in the dirt – it’s where he belongs.