Archive for Bait 3D

Photographic Jaws, Mixtape Monsters, Gator Aid

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Sharks with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 4, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jaws

No question the poster for Jaws (1975) is one of the most iconic pieces of movie art of all time. Illustrated by Roger Kastel, the art has been turned into everything from book covers and board games, to countless parodies and baby blankets. And thanks to British filmmaker/cage diver Euan Rannachan, we now get to see the Jaws poster come to life, featuring his uncanny photo of a real shark swimming Jaws-style towards some soon-to-be happy meal.

Jaws

As first reported by the Daily Mail, Euan took the one-in-a-million pic off the coast of Mexico. Here’s what he had to say about that: “The shark in my image is a female and her name is Squirrel. We’d been with her for a while. We have these people on the boat called shark wranglers and they throw these two-foot chunks of tuna to get the shark close to the surface,” Rannachan told the site, explaining how he got the perfect photograph of the seventeen-foot shark. A guy named Crazy Luis stood up on the boat to bring the shark to us as we sat on the surface in the shark cage.”

Jaws

Crazy Luis seems like someone you’d want to fiesta with. And while we spitball alternative names for a shark other than Squirrel (?!?), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not be improved by adding two-foot chunks of tuna to ’em…

Starfish

STARFISH (May 28, 2019)
When a mysterious signal from an unknown dimension summons the end of days, it appears as if only Aubrey is left on earth. Trapped in the apartment of her recently deceased best friend, the only clue she has is a single cassette left behind after her friend’s death, labeled: “THIS MIXTAPE WILL SAVE THE WORLD.” Thrust into a mystery orchestrated by her friend and stricken with grief, Aubrey begins to piece the clues together, uncovering a series of tapes all with pieces of the mystery signal. Along the way, progress is impeded when monstrous creatures begin to overrun the world and enclose in on her. Aubrey is forced to fight off the encroaching creatures and move beyond her own crippling grief in order to find the remaining tapes. But will completing The Signal save the world?”

Wonder if the mixtape has R.E.M.’s “It’s the End of The World” on it? That’d be pretty funny if it did. So Aubrey is the last gal standing, facing off against giant monsters. As apocalyptic scenarios go, that’s not too shabby, even if it does “borrow” from The Last Man On Earth (1964), The Omega Man (1971) and I Am Legend (2007). Lesser so with The Last Woman on Earth (1960), which had two dudes fighting over her and all the shoe stores in the world open 24 hours a day.

Hallowed Ground

HALLOWED GROUND (June 11, 2019)
“A married couple, trying to rebuild their relationship after an affair, travels to a secluded cabin and stumbles into a blood feud between the Native American owners of the property and the neighboring clan, who obsessively guard their land and punish those who trespass on it in terrifying ways.”

About time Native Americans gave the business end of the tomahawk to those Republicans. I bet one of the terrifying ways to punish them would be to put ‘em in a teepee to reflect on their shameful behavior. Probably wouldn’t be able to make sit in a corner because, hey, teepees are round, man. I totally looked it up.

Crawl

CRAWL (July 12, 2019)
“When a massive hurricane hits her Florida hometown, Haley ignores evacuation orders to search for her missing father. Finding him gravely injured in the crawl space of their family home, the two become trapped by quickly encroaching floodwaters. As time runs out to escape the strengthening storm, Haley and her father discover that the rising water level is the least of their fears.”

Even though it takes the premise of Bait 3D (2012), it’s no spoiler that crocodiles and/or alligators end up in flooded houses and/or condos. The trailer for this one is insane cool, with many hungry reptiles showing up for this buffet, which has a lot of screaming deals. Heh.

Deathcember

DEATHCEMBER (2019)
“Coming soon, the holiday horror anthology Deathcember will open 24 doors to Hell for ‘the ultimate advent horror anthology movie.’ The anthology will feature 24 shorts by 24 directors from around the globe, each one taking a look at the dark side of the festive season. In “A Christmas Miracle,” a grieving mother who suffered a stillbirth is spending Christmas alone, when she is visited by an apparition that promises to bring her child back to life — but at what cost?”

Cool — hope they do a poster for all the segments; I need new wallpaper. Deathcember is even more cool than you think — the film crew was/is made up of almost entirely women. Women can be just as scary as men. Just ask any divorced dude.