Archive for babysitter

Halloween For Christmas

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 9, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

All Hallows' Eve 2

Here’s a good idea – make a Halloween-themed horror movie and release it on December 1. I know it makes you sick to your stomach think about it, but while they’re at it, why not release an Easter-themed movie on Groundhog’s Day?

Not sure why the folks behind All Hallows’ Eve 2, the sequel to 2013’s All Hallows’ Eve, have decided to bypass October altogether for their movie release. October is the reigning champ for all things horror, albeit out-pacing Christmas by a slim margin.

And since they’re screwing it up with the release, why not go all the way and issue a sales poster accompanied by absolutely no plot information whatsoever? How difficult can it be to burp out a blurb? If you don’t want anyone to see the movie, you’re going about it in the right way.

All Hallows Eve

Here’s what went down in All Hallows’ Eve, the first one:

While watching two children on Halloween night, the babysitter finds an old VHS tape in the kids’ trick or treat bag. The tape features three tales of terror, all linked together by a murderous clown. As the night goes on, strange things begin to occur in the house. It isn’t long before the babysitter learns the horrifying truth…the maniacal clown is slowly working his way into her reality.”

I’m assuming All Hallows’ Eve 2 continues the maniacal ways of Art the Clown and includes more linked horror tales. Guess I won’t find out as I’ll be well into my Christmas horror season of movies by then. Art’s just gonna have to wait until next year until I get my seasonal flavor back.

A Cleaver To Cleave Her

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on July 26, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown

First e-barfed about Slasher House on November 8, 2010. Promptly forgot about it on November 9, 2010. Not a fan of slasher movies, so I went back to combing my hair. The reason I even bring it up is that there’s a sorta sequel (actually, more a spin-off), called Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown, who was a colorfully harmful character in Slasher House.

Hmmm, where did I put my comb?

While the slasher genre bores the living sandwich outta me, there are those in the community that buys into this kind of horror movie. I’ll say this for Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown – cool movie posters. And I’ll let them say this about the movie…

Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown

“1990 Oklahoma: Carlton Layton arrived home to find his wife in the arms of another man, he went out to his van and donned the clown suit that he used as a children’s entertainer and proceeded to slaughter his wife and her lover. All of this was witnessed by his 5 year old daughter and Carlton escaped into the night leaving his little girl behind.”

“5 Years Later: Halloween night and Carley, a young college student, is hired to take care of a little girl as her parents head out to a Halloween party, but someone one is waiting, someone wants the girl, someone who we know as The Cleaver…”

Slasher House

Always Halloween night and always a college coed. When will filmmakers unhitch from that super dumb/cliched merry-go-round?

Anyway, Cleaver: Rise of the Killer Clown comes out just in time for…Halloween.

Slash Her Films

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on May 12, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Berkshire County

In my day they would’ve categorized horror like Berkshire County (arriving 2015) as a slasher film. Sure, the term is outdated and doesn’t come close to describing today’s predatory villain movies as torture porn. Harsh, but right on the money.

So what is torture porn? Had to ask an ice cream truck vendor in a clown suit for the definitive definition: A captor or captors ritually performing extreme, relentless, unblinkingly graphic torture on a bound captive(s). Couldn’t have said it better if I made it up myself just now.

So Berkshire County might not fall exactly into the torture porn category, but watching the trailer, it certainly has strong TP elements: Animal masked men wielding Wüsthof™ cutlery and violently terrorizing a young female babysitter. Here’s the synopsis (see if you can’t figure out who the slashers are)…

Berkshire County

“Kylie, a teen who is coerced into a sexual encounter at a party by a popular boy whose friends send video of it across social media. Her self-confidence in shreds and her reputation in tatters, she is in chronic victim mode when she reluctantly agrees to a desperate plea by a couple in a secluded castle-like mansion to babysit their two children on Halloween.”

Alone in the country she is a prime target when she begins receiving prank phone calls, and a boy wearing a pig’s head makes a suspiciously-late trick-or-treat call. What follows is a game of cat-and-mouse between Kylie and a surprisingly sophisticated gang of butchering hicks. It is a test of will that requires her to stand up and take charge if she and the children in her care are to survive the night.”

While it grabs fistfuls of truck ice cream of Halloween (1978), I liked it better when this was called You’re Next (2013), featuring animal masked villains wielding Wüsthof™ cutlery.

You're Next

Ghost-sitter

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts with tags , , , , , , , , , on March 26, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Baby's Room

Part of the 6 Films To Keep You Awake series, The Baby’s Room (2006), a Spanish ghost story, finds a young married couple with a factory-fresh kid moving into a new house that, for all intents is haunted, right down to the stylish terracotta tiling.

The Baby's Room

The ghost (a dude and not a babysitter dude) first makes himself known via a hi-tech baby monitor with video screen, sitting by the kid’s crib and freaking out the new parents. So dad buys 20 baby monitors and does a double freak-out – he can’t see the ghost with regular eyes, but he can see and follow the spectre through the video camera.

The spooky guy looks really familiar, though. Could it be dad has seen that face before, like in a mirror, perhaps? (No, that wasn’t a spoiler as far as you know.)

The Baby's Room

Overly long, often cliched and occasionally tedious, The Baby’s Room takes some time to build up scare steam, but has a kinda cool twist the punch line ala The Shining (1980). But I totally get the movie’s message: the best part about kids is making ’em.