Archive for axe

Evil Bathrobe

Posted in Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 18, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evilmakers

A voluptuous chick has nightmares, so she takes off her shirt. This is clearly the right thing to do when confronted by the unknown.

Her Goth girlfriend picks her up and, after meeting up with friends (a large chick and a reverse attractive large chick), head for the beach to score with men with boogie boards.

EvilmakerThe party car only makes it a few miles out of town, so the girls walk right into an unlocked furnished house with plenty of booze and nobody home. Mysterious voices pester the boob-gifted chick, so she takes her clothes off and hops in the bathtub. Again, she has what it takes to smash evil.

Evilmaker

The biggest drawback (besides the food stamp-esque budget), is the Evilmaker turns out to be the chick’s ghost ex-boyfriend in a discount black bathrobe. And not an absorbent bathrobe, either. (P.S. Not a spoiler – they practically hand it to you in the beginning as if an obligation-free cheese sandwich.)

The Evilmaker

Explained in flashbacks, he was caught cheating on her (that butt!) and was chopped up by an axe. Neither deeds are shown onscreen, and it only gets worse when the reverse attractive large chick exposes one of her Sarah Lee™-filled poundcakes.

So how evil is Evilmaker (2000)? About the same as a discount black bathrobe.

The Horror of Mondays

Posted in Evil with tags , , , , , , , , , , on February 8, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Monday at 11:01AM

Monday at 11:01AM is an odd title for a… Um, I don’t know what it is. Horror, sci-fi, porn with clothes on? But the press release says it’s a suspense thriller. I don’t know what that means. That’s probably to make it sound more like a “film”  instead of a “movie.” Whatever the case, it has an intriguing movie poster as well as a plot…

Monday at 11:01AM

“Michael and Jenny, a happy couple, are out for a blissful weekend in a picturesque resort town. While Jenny shops in a local boutique, Michael stops off at the local watering hole, where he meets a friendly bartender (Lance Henriksen) and a sexy temptress (Briana Evigan).

Monday at 11:01AM

Michael declines her overtures, but even stranger events take place in a local hotel – such as ghostly happenings in Suite 327, the sounds of violent lovemaking that only Michael can hear; and a cult of Druid worshipers who suddenly emerge from the local forest and chase after Michael. Doing the smart thing, Michael and Jenny head out of town – only to discover that their only escape route, a mountain tunnel, is blocked by the Highway Patrol.”

Monday at 11:01AM

Monday at 11:01AM appears to borrow heavily from The Shining (1980). For instance, Suite 327. The spook room in The Shining’s Overlook Hotel was Room 237. All Monday did was switch the numbers around. And Lance is spot on as the “Llyod-esque” bartender. And in the trailer, Michael is seen slowly unraveling like a discount sweater and eventually ending up dragging a bloody axe across what appears to be clean floors.

So when does Monday at 11:01AM get released? My best guess is Monday. At 11:01. AM. Heh.