Archive for ax

A Killer Yuppie

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 12, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

American_Psycho_5

In the slaughter-riffic American Psycho (2000), a high-powered corporate shirt-tucker plays material oneupmanship with his snobby peers and it becomes a game of “look at what I have.”

American Psycho

Soon, this vapid lifestyle begins to warp this poor excuse for a human and he erupts in mindless yet ferociously angry violence to help him make sense of his senseless world. (Can’t tell you how many times I’ve done that myself.)

American Psycho

He analyzes music from Huey Lewis & The News, Phil Collins and Whitney Houston while chopping up his buddy with an ax who has better business cards than him. He hires hookers to have cash-only sex, then chases them down the hall with a state-of-the-art chainsaw. Black comedy at its finest, this is one funny movie and a crushing commentary on male vanity. (Is there really such a thing?)

American Psycho

Copious drug use, unsafe intercourse, rented limos, reserved tables at trendy dinner establishments, nail guns. You never get to see the actual dissections. (Then again, you didn’t see any in The Texas Chain Saw Massacre/1974, either.) But Christian Bale as Patrick Bateman is the best non-mask wearing serial-killing psycho to wield cutlery since Norman Bates.

Horror: Lather, Rinse, Repeat

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 17, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Redwood Massacre

The best thing about being a decades long horror movie fan is that I’ve seen almost everything. The worst part about being a decades long horror movie fan is that I’ve seen almost everything. And not everything as in every horror movie ever made. (My couch would graft itself onto my DNA.) Nope, I mean every horror plot device – of which there are only five – to come down the pipe.

Take The Redwood Massacre, hitting DVD and VOD on July 7th, 2015. Everything, from it’s generic slasher title to the premise of five teens partying in the woods, to the masked killer with an ax has been done so many times before, it’s beyond laughable. But feel free to laugh, anyway.

First, why YET ANOTHER slasher? In the face of those real weirdo nut-cakes on the news that do far worse, any horror movie slasher now just comes across as cartoonish.

And the five teens in the woods? That’s is so cliched it’s like the writer of The Redwood Massacre didn’t even take the cap off his pen.

The Redwood Massacre

Want more proof? Here’s the plot: “For five adventurous friends, visiting the legendary murder site of the Redwood House has all the hallmarks of being an exciting and thrilling camping weekend. A popular site for revelers and party-goers, each year on the exact date of the famous local family massacre, people from around the country head out to the site to have fun and scare each other. Events take a bloody turn for the worse when the innocent campers discover the Redwood legend is in fact a horrible, bloody reality, which turns the unsuspecting victims into prey for a mysterious ax-wielding maniac who has remained dormant for 20 years.”

Axe-wielding masked psychopath on a killing rampage. Hmmm – where have we heard of that before? I know – EVERYWHERE. Case in point – here’s IMDB.com’s description of 1974’s The Texas Chain Saw Massacre, made over 40 years ago: “Five friends visiting their grandfather’s house in the country are hunted and terrorized by a chain-saw wielding killer.”

To illustrate just how simple it is the come up with a horror story, go to PlotGenerator.org.uk and simply fill in the form field. Takes a minute or two. Then click the “Write Me A Horror Plot” button at the bottom and, presto – you just came up with The Redwood Massacre.

P.S. Scarecrow’s stylish headwear in Batman Begins (2005) beat the mysterious ax-wielding maniac in The Redwood Massacre to the fashion runway by a decade.
Scarecrow