Archive for autopsy

Larva of the Living Dead

Posted in Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Island of the Dead

When East Coast homeless people die and can’t afford a funeral with all the extras (coffin, dirt, absolution) they’re buried on an uninhabited island just an autopsy away from New York. Sounds more like landfill than an island.

Island of the Dead

So this Scrooge McDuck rich guy gets the idea to buy the island, rebrand it as “Hope Island’, build a bunch of low rent slums on its bleak shores, thereby “cleaning” the streets of the Big Dirty Apple. As a PR move, it scores big with those who just want the homeless problem to go away. But the dead who live on the island think the idea sucks, so they turn themselves into cloud swarms of flies and maggots and attack the living.

Island of the Dead

Script padding includes a bleeding heart female cop trying to find corpse closure, a few expendable prisoners (they use jail guys to dig the graves, thus saving tax dollars), and an experiment to experiment on the tenants to develop some sort of space drug, no doubt for NASA, those ass hats. They even toss in a couple of angry rap songs to illustrate the plight of inner city citizens. (Like rap is even music – pffft.)

Gilligan's Island

Outside of accelerated decomposition of bodies after they’re bitten by gangsta flies and gangsta maggots, Island of the Dead (2000) couldn’t be more boring. The pace is excruciatingly slow (much like the maggot’s squiggly dance of death amongst assorted entrails), and the “dead” aren’t seen ripping the heads of the living and gorging on their brains. Stick to Gilligan’s Island (1964) for some real head-ripping action.

Island of the Living Dead

P.S. It is my express wish in life that you do not confuse Island of the Dead with the slight variation titled Island of the Living Dead (2007). And because you need something more substantial, that one is about a group of treasure hunters surviving a shipwreck only to find themselves stuck on a deserted island that’s been overrun with nasty ass flesh-eating zombies.

P.P.S. How can an island be deserted when its overrun by zombies? Movie makers be so dumb sometimes.

Embalming: The New Taxidermy

Posted in Asian Horror, Foreign Horror with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 8, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

EM: Embalming

Miyako is a coroner. She gets to look at all the inner goo within our bodies once we quit making outer goo. One day she gets a male teenage corpse with a needle sticking out of its neck. My guess is he died of natural causes. But, as the body is prepared for embalming, someone sneaks in after hours and takes the corpse’s head right out of its shoulder holder.

EM: Embalming

The search for the misplaced face leads Miyako and detective Kurume into the lucrative underground shopping mall known as the organ trade industry. Legs, arms, torsos, eyeballs, wieners…they won’t be undersold! (I’m waiting for the President’s Day 1/2 off butt cheek sale.)

EM: Embalming

It’s here they find Dr Fuji, an ostracized surgeon who runs his limb extraction practice out of the back of a semi-truck. Fuji knows where the head is, but it’s linked to a convoluted plot that distracts from the real reason to watch this movie: to witness graphic autopsies done on the living. Is that asking too much?

EM: Embalming

Miyako, though, has bigger problems. A nearby priest tells her what she does to dead bodies is evil and that she’s really gonna get it, the argument being that preserving the dead body is a crime against the laws of nature. (The Japanese believe in cremation, not embalming. I’m split down the middle. Heh.)

EM: Embalming

Fuji, as it turns out, did the embalming on Miyako’s mom when she kicked the Buddha, so that ties in somehow. While Em: Embalming (1999) invokes a solid “meh,” it’s the gloriously gory body parts that reward one’s rental yen. Not quite as visceral as Saw III (2006) in the head-opening department, if you can put up with all the plot distractions, you’ll be rewarded with some juicy meatiness. I know that sounds icky, but I couldn’t think of anything else.

It’s Only Skin…

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction with tags , , , , on October 11, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Anatomy

Anatomy (2000) is a delightfully grisly flick from Germany that, quite thankfully, has nothing to do with bathroom leftovers.

Anatomy

There exists a secret cult of medical type doctors who, after centuries of frustration due to constricting ethics and morals, finally say screw all that goody goody stuff and practice their craft…on the living.

Anatomy

The Anti-Hypocratic Oath-ers (aka “Republicans”) discover a chemical that turns human blood to rubber, keeping the patient alive while they dissect, carve, fold, spindle and mutilate the reluctant donors. You should see the look on the victims’ faces when they get to watch their own autopsy. It’s the same look you get when the gum doesn’t come out of the gum ball machine.

AnatomyAn inquisitive female medical student gets medical wind the cult and sets out to expose them. Her roommate – a tremendously busty (and overtly horny) blonde with an IQ 50 points higher than everybody else – has the type of anatomy she’s willing to let all the male students examine. Along the way, she gets rubber-blooded, and ultimately turned into interactive nude art in the school’s show room. (The irony being her bod was already interactive, if you get my drift.)

Anatomy

Anatomy (there’s a sequel, too), is gruesome with just enough gore, guts, and hi-jink sexcapades to make you wanna consider a career in medical research.