Archive for asteroid

Earth-Sucking Robot

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 23, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Kronos

A giant robot looking like a giant Lego™ has arrived on Earth to suck it dry of all its energy resources. I didn’t know robots could be Republicans. Such is the premise of Kronos (aka, Kronos, Destroyer of the Universe /1957), a sci-fi classic.

Kronos

So how did the bolts and nuts sucker get here? Start with an incoming UFO that scientists are monitoring that they think is an asteroid. It’s headed straight towards Earth, so we do what we do best – shoot bombs at it. Direct hit, nothing happens, even thought the warheads were pure USDA-grade atomic boom booms.

Kronos

The UFO shakes it off and resumes its course. The newscaster tells us not to panic and that it won’t hit New York. Then the UFO hits New York. Just f’n with you – it goes into the ocean just off a Mexican beach. Aiyeeee! 

Kronos

Two dude scientists and a supermodel chick scientist head there to see what’s what. After much plot stalling, the ocean glows white (not surprising as the movie was filmed in black and white) and out pops Kronos – 100 feet tall and full of Earth-sucking fury. (Note to scientists: Kronos gets bigger as he consumes our Earth juice.)

Kronos

While Kronos is heading towards all of Earth’s nuclear plants and getting his suck on, the Mexican Air Force moves in to nuke Big K. Incorrecto, amigos – that’s what Kronos eats.

Kronos

One of the scientists theorizes they need to drop reverse energy particles on Kronos to booger up his sucking power, thereby causing the mecánico monster to explode into particles.

Kronos

Footnote: Kronos was transported here by an alien race that has sucked all its own natural resources dry, with the plan to have K absorb ours and bring it on home. Sorry alien dick heads – we’re doing that on our own just fine.

Planet of the Vampires

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 29, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Planet of the Vampires

Planet of the Vampires (1965) is also known as Terrore Nello Spazio. (It’s an Italian sci-fi flick.) Even so, only half of this movie’s title is correct.

Planet of the Vampires

Two pricey spaceships, loaded with astronauts in work clothing, crash on a mysterious planet that has a lot of glowing steam and pointy rocks. The place looks unoccupied, but the planet’s residents are invisible. (That saved the film company a few bucks on crappy rubber masks.)

Planet of the Vampires

The crew of the Argos become possessed by these invis-o-beings and turn last call-hostile, beating each other up and down. Those who die during these point-counter points are reanimated with space herpes sores on their faces, and stalk those without space herpes.

Planet of the Vampires

A couple of the guys from Galliot, the other space ship, want to get the heckaroo outta there, and go about stealing Argos’ Meteor Rejector device, the thing that will allow them to navigate the pinball asteroid field they barely made it though on their way to Planet Boring in the first place.

Planet of the Vampires

The DVD box art shows giant skeletal vampires with icky faces attacking the crew. There are no such creatures in the movie, just astronauts covered in Saran Wrap™ running around and smacking each other. I wish I had a Crappy Horror Movie Rejector device installed on my TV.