Archive for Asian Sc-Fi

Godzilla Bombs, Demon Police, Head App

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Bigfoot, Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 15, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Oxygen Destroyer

Been keeping an i-ball (heh) open for continuing information on the 2019 Godzilla movie, which is scheduled to include G-foes Mothra, Rodan and King Ghidorah. Recently leaked is the news that this kaiju rodeo is flashing respect to the original Godzilla movie (1954) with the inclusion of the famous Oxygen Destroyer, the science water bomb (made by the FIRST Dr. Serizawa) that melted Godzilla’s flesh off his super-sized bones. That Godzilla somehow came back to life and starred in a plethora of sequels is probably noteworthy.

Speaking of bombs, will the new Oxygen Destroyer be able to  stop the new Godzilla ’n super friends from turning the Earth’s landscape into garden mulch? While we all ponder that, here are a few upcoming horror and sci-fi movies that may or may not bomb at the box office…

Demon Hunter

DEMON HUNTER (August 15, 2017/VOD)
“Captured by police for questioning in the slaying of a man she claimed was a demon, Taryn Barker must prove her innocence, and the existence of demons. But when a cult captures the daughter of one of the detectives on the case, the police must trust, and unleash, this warrior on the Satanic group who are intent on bringing an ancient evil force into the world.”

Where would we be without demon hunters? I certainly don’t want to have to clean up those evil messes. I did enough of that as a bus station bathroom attendant.

Rememory

REMEMORY (August 24, 2017)
“The body and unexplained death of Gordon Dunn, a visionary scientific pioneer, is found shortly after the unveiling of his newest work: a device able to extract, record and play a person’s memories. Gordon’s wife, Carolyn, retreats into her house and cuts off contact with the outside world when a mysterious man shows up. After stealing the machine, he uses it to try and solve the mystery, beginning an investigation of memories that lead him to unexpected and dangerous places.”

A device that can record and playback memories probably isn’t science fiction (Apple™ is no doubt working on an iPhone™ app as we speak). I won’t be buying one — some memories are better left buried. Those I can remember, anyway.

House By The Lake

HOUSE BY THE LAKE (2017/2018)
“A struggling married couple try to reconnect at an idyllic lake house, but their relationship is tested when their young daughter begins to fixate on an imaginary friend that may or may not be real.”

Couldn’t be Bigfoot as he’s not imaginary. Her “friend” is likely one of those lake monsters. I hear they live in lakes. Wonder if Bigfoot has ever seen a lake monster during one of his frequent nature walks?

Boots On The Ground

BOOTS ON THE GROUND (2018)
“Five British soldiers try to stay alive on the last night of the Afghan War, facing not just the Taliban, but also supernatural forces more terrifying than anything they’ve encountered before.”

If anyone can take down a supernatural force, it’s the British. Just look at what Harry Potter was able to accomplish with a stick and a broom.

Giant Monsters Dine ‘N Dash

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , on May 28, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

First a little backstory. A million billion years ago (OK, only ten thousand, but that sounds boring) the technologically-advanced people of Atlantis created a flock of flying reptiles, winged dinosaurs if you will.

Why would Atlanteans do such a thing? Well for starters, Atlanteans are big polluters. So these reptiles, or “Gyaos,” fly around and eat pollution. The dino birds grow to monstrous size because there’s a lot of vitamin-enriched pollution to eat. Then the birds started to breed. Then the birds started to eat the Atlanteans. Then the Atlanteans invent Gamera, a species of giant turtles with huge tusks and fireballs shooting out of orifices, to address the booming Gyaos population explosion. Like a new sheriff in town, Gamera takes care of the problem and all was well.

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

Move forward 10,000 years to 1995. (Just close your eyes and do it.) A ship called Kairyu-Maru (dumb name – I would’ve called it Death Boat) is carrying plutonium and smacks into an atoll in the middle of the ocean. Some of the crew explore the craggy atoll and grab several souvenir stone amulets laying around, which factor into the rest of the movie if you’re interested in sub-plots.

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

They also encounter a huge obelisk sticking out of this oddly familiar island. There’s writing on the slab, too. (I didn’t have time to decipher it, but the movie scientists did.) Then the island moves and the slab crumbles like the plaster roof I just put on my house. Holy crap – this isn’t an island…THEY’RE STANDING ON GAMERA! Time to get the stinkin’ hell outta there.

Meanwhile, three Gyaos have turned up and are eating people, so they’re lured to an outdoor sports arena with a retractable roof. The idea is to get the Gyaos to fly in and snack on a huge pile of horse carcass, maybe catch a few innings of the game, then shut the roof, thereby trapping the gluttonous beak faces. The plan sorta works.

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

Two escape and Gamera appears out of freakin’ nowhere and blasts one of those anvil-headed b*stards into soot with his flame-ball breath. The others escape and go to the Kiso Mountains to recharge their energies (i.e., take a nap, eat more people). The military – those well intentioned knuckleheads – shoot Gamera out of the sky as they think he’s the bigger problem. But as it says on the lining of my underwear, you can’t keep a good turtle down.

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

The last remaining Gyaos grows to Godzilla size and Gamera, now recovered from friendly fire, chases the monstrous bird into downtown Tokyo where a spectacular battle ensues. I’ve said it before and I’ll say it again – watching giant monsters engaged in wholesale urban destruction is like comfort food to my face.

Gamera: Guardian of the Universe

A welcome upgrade, Gamera looks way better than he did when he took drugs and stumbled around back in the ’60s. Gyaos, though, still looks like a bird puppet with a giant fist shoved up its ass. Nevertheless, Gamera: Guardian of the Universe (1997) is a sweet comeback for giant turtles everywhere.

Son of Godzilla

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , on October 29, 2012 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Monster Island’s Decisive Battle: Godzilla’s Son

Godzilla’s son Minilla gets a moment in the family spotlight. So where’s Momzilla? Probably shopping or watching Oprahzilla with her girlfriends.

Son of Godzilla was released in 1967 in Japan as Monster Island’s Decisive Battle: Godzilla’s Son. Geez, that’s wordy. That overly stated, the environmental scientists stationed on Sogell Island (aka, Monster Island or Screaming Death Atoll) in the middle of the Pacific to conduct weather experiments probably didn’t know the place is home to Godzilla and his little turd-shaped son, Minilla.

Monster Island’s Decisive Battle: Godzilla’s SonAnd they probably didn’t notice the giant praying Mantis dudes (Kamacuras) hanging out, waiting to crack open Godzilla’s egg to eat Minilla. And they must’ve been so wrapped up in their assignment they didn’t see the giant spider (Kumonga) taking scenic walks around their campsite. (The mantises are referred to as Gimantis in this made-for-the-kiddies movie, and Kumonga is referred to as “Spiga.” I know this is confusing, but I’m seriously not to blame here.)

Monster Island’s Decisive Battle: Godzilla’s SonNope, these scientists, launching radioactive pellets and colored smoke into the air, are trying to make snow. This will allow them to utilize areas like the Sahara Desert for growing food, thereby making delicious sno-cones for all the starving kids in the world.

A supermodel is discovered living on the island, the daughter of a scientist who was left there after WWII. When he and the mom croaked, the tropical hottie had every opportunity to prance around the people-uninhabited island completely naked, but chose to wear clothes. This is unfortunate as the movie’s monster action is dull and repetitive. And Minilla is so annoying as to invite death from above.

Monster Island’s Decisive Battle: Godzilla’s SonI found the weather experiment to be far more interest-worthy. That, and the supermodel. The giant spider is somewhat cool and gives Godzilla a homestyle web-whipping. In the end, though the Gimantis bugs pretty much get dry-roasted by Godzilla. But ironically it’s G’s brat who saves the day. Guess the little sh*t earned his keep. For now.

Godzilla, Giant Robots, Soiled Pants

Posted in Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , on July 15, 2012 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla

It’s official – Gareth Edwards, the guy who did the astonishing Monsters (2010), has announced a remake of Godzilla.

You know how occasionally/intermittently/often you crap your pants because you’re sad or in big trouble with the law, surrounded by creatures of unknown origin, about to be probed by aliens, just for the hell of it, or extremely happy? Knowing there’s a new Godzilla movie coming out makes this one of those extremely happy moments.

This, of course, is prefaced by the impending Pacific Rim, another movie about giant monsters from filmmaker Guillermo del Toro. (Pronounced “ghee-air-mow-del-tore-oh). Inspired by the Godzilla ’n friends legacy, here’s that PR’s all about…

Pacific RimWhen legions of monstrous creatures, known as Kaiju, started rising from the sea, a war began that would take millions of lives and consume humanity’s resources for years on end.

To combat the giant Kaiju, a special type of weapon was devised: massive robots, called Jaegers, which are controlled simultaneously by two pilots whose minds are locked in a neural bridge.

Pacific Rim

But even the Jaegers are proving nearly defenseless in the face of the relentless Kaiju. On the verge of defeat, the forces defending mankind have no choice but to turn to two unlikely heroes – a washed up former pilot and an untested trainee – who are teamed to drive a legendary but seemingly obsolete Jaeger from the past. Together, they stand as mankind’s last hope against the mounting apocalypse.

Giant robots named after booze and battling giant monsters? Is it possible to crap one’s pants twice within moments of each event horizon? I’ll update this blog shortly.

Party on Godzilla, Party on Megalon

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Giant Monsters, Godzilla with tags , , on November 7, 2011 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Godzilla vs. MegalonHard to believe it’s been nearly 40 years since Godzilla vs. Megalon (1973) was released. Both Godzilla and bugged out Megalon don’t look a day over 30. So timeless is their fashion sense, someone saw fit to finally re-release Godzilla vs. Megalon on Blu-ray™ on November 22, 2011.

Godzilla vs. MegalonG vs. M introduces us to two new additions to Godzilla’s friends ’n family plan: Megalon – a swollen bug – and the sporty-named Jet Jaguar. Jet’s a silver robot with a snazzy red and orange suit (with blue highlights) in the tradition of Infra-Man. He has grillwork for teeth that always make him look like he’s smiling, black eyes that present themselves as evil (but they’re really not), and can fly with his arms out at what looks to be a painful angle. Oh, yeah, he also has perfect posture.

As a giant monster fighter, though, Jet Jaguar’s kind of a wuss. Some underwater aliens (who look suspiciously like humans in togas) are pissed off at land people, so they call forth Megalon, a giant cockroach with drill bits for arms and a railroad spike sticking out of his head that glows. Megalon can hop like a tick, but not nearly as gracefully. And what you might think is balls of solid vomit shooting out of his bug mouth is in actuality explosives. You heard me…EXPLOSIVES!

Godzilla vs. MegalonJJ talks to Godzilla via hand signals, much like he’s directing a plane on a runway. Godzilla, fluent in plane signals, gives the thumbs up and jumps in the water to get his brawl on. When Megalon knocks Jet down, he flops down on him and, for second, looks like he’s getting romantic with the robot…and Jet looks like he’s ready to put out. I became somewhat uneasy watching this scene.

When Godzilla arrives he brings with him several new moves: he can run fast, levitate and do a flying leg-kick that has him zooming across the ground completely horizontal while using his tail for balance. He’s also a good sport for once, shaking Jet Jaguar’s hand after Megalon and Gigan are bested in a two out of three falls match.

Godzilla vs. MegalonNormally, this kind of goofy kid’s stuff would be a lot more fun, but they’ve taken out screaming citizens and any pretense of a plot. What good is a Godzilla movie without screaming citizens? I think we all know the answer.

God Of Clay – That’s Putty Silly

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Giant Monsters with tags , on May 16, 2011 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

God of ClayNormally Japanese giant monsters have cool names that rhyme with “camera” and “beer, ahhh!” and end in vowels. But this new guy, looking like a heavy metal Teletubbie crossed with a radioactive unicorn and has “you’re on the wrong train track” flashing red eyes, is called God of Clay. God, maybe. Clay, perhaps. But God of Clay just doesn’t invoke coolness and makes you think of giant pottery or a mutant vase. Does for me, anyway. But hey, a 30-story monster that goes around doing urban development without permits is still a good thing.

God of ClayGod of Clay’s press release, which I kinda sort skimmed through because it didn’t come with a coupon for something free or discounted, says that this is a 13-minute film short adapted from the anti-war children’s picture book by author Masamoto Nasu, Children of the Paper Crane: The Story of Sadako Sasaki and Her Struggle With the A-Bomb Disease. I read that book. It doesn’t end well for Sadako.

It goes on to say that the story revolves around a boy named Ken-chan whose parents are killed in WWII. He creates a tiny clay god to punish those who profit from war. Fifty years later, Ken-chan has become president of an arms company – and his forgotten God of Clay grows to enormous size, wreaking havoc and destruction until it confronts its maker. (I just flashed on how they can battle God Clay on his own terms: expose Gumby to science beams, inject him with 400 gallons of Jagermeister™, then sit back and watch a bitch slap of biblical proportions.)

Aside from the sweet and refreshing Jagermeister™ and aforementioned tech beams, the premise of God of Clay looks to be the Japanese take on the Golem, a Jewish clay monster made by a rabbi to protect the ghetto Jews from trippin’ anti-Semitic gangstas.

GolemIt’s also similar to the Korean savior of the people, Pulgasari, a mythical giant ox thing. Fashioned from a wad of mystical rice and brought to life by the blood of a hot but downtrodden Korean chick, the tiny beast gorges on metal and grows at a buffet-busting rate. The best part is Pulgasari turns into of metal and can’t be killed by conventional means (fire, avalanches, cruel taunts).

PulgasariYou can see the world premier of God of Clay on June 23, 2011 at the Bigfoot Crest Theater in L.A. during their Japanese Monster Mayhem Film Fest. I believe the serious sh*t goes down at 9:30PM. I’d go, but I’m working on my own creature of retribution. I have given a name to my pain and it is…Scruffy – Destroyer of Worlds.

P.S. Thanks to Sci-Fi Japan.com for exposing me to another giant monster whose image on a shirt I have got to own.