Archive for animals

Unprotected Werewolf Sex

Posted in Classic Horror, Nature Gone Wild, TV Vixens, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , on June 19, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Animals

In the werewolf movie Animals (2008), Jarret, a life loser, comes back to the grimy small industrial town of Breaking Rocks For A Living to break rocks for a living. He can’t make it to work on time, drinks too much and starts bar fights. Sucks to be Jarret — until Nora, a drop dead, hot sexpot comes into the roadhouse bar he hangs out in, and puts it on the glass.

Animals

The sex they engage in is the kind Jarret’s only seen in 3-for-a-$1 DVDs. She’ll do it on the top of a car, a kitchen table, the ceiling, and seems both insatiable and restless, convincing Jarret to leave this crap hole town. Mind you, this was right after she bit him, infecting Jarret with a newfound appreciation for all things animal.

Animals

Then Vic, Nora’s extremely temperamental ex-boyfriend/flesh-eater and a supernatural werewolf who has ravenous appetites for all things ladies and meat, which he considers one in the same.

Animals

A showdown between Vic and Jarret has both growing razor teeth and morphing into ethereal werewolves. Up to that point, there was decent face-lacerating, slippery blood, liberated boobies, kitchen sex…

Animals

Then they have to go and wreck my entire world (and by extension, yours) with poorly designed digital werewolves. The fight is brief, not even coming close to the promise of two lycanthropes trying to make hamburger out of each other. At least there’s the “sex in the alley,” “sex on the kitchen counter” and “sex on the chair” scenes to replay. If you prefer that to computerized werewolves, that is.

Zombie Pigs: Pork and Beings

Posted in Foreign Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on September 27, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Proie

Word of warning before you watch Proie, a 2010 French horror movie about zombie hogs. There are numerous, highly graphic and gory depictions of animal damage. If that kind of stuff goons you out, this is not the movie for you. (It’s double icky.)

Proie, or Prey as it was released in the States, finds a tempestuous family reunion gathering out in the French countryside (or “woods”), where there’s a lot of back story stuff to color the characters so that you feel emotionally invested in them. What ev. The family runs a pesticides business and is headed up by dad, one cranky and tough S.O.B. Have to be if the contaminates your slinging is your only source of income.

Proie

Several recent violent animal behavior incidents have the men in the family heading out to see what the fudge: panicked deer ramming themselves into electric fences and maddened feral pigs, rotting from the inside out, chasing anything and anyone who ventures out into the overgrown forest. (Even the flora looks mean.)

The men keep hearing ominous screech-y sounds, augmented by lots of heavy grunting. (Like my neighbors on date night.) Words are said, swearing exclaimed and the men are systematically being hunted by zombie hogs who are beyond rabid, violently hungry, mega-aggressive and double icky.

Proie

It’s determined that the contaminated pesticides leaked into a nearby lake. The area’s woodland creatures chug the water. Then they mate. (Who wouldn’t after loosening up with a drink or two?) Then they give birth to mutated offspring that pursue all things human with extreme prejudice.

Where Proie excels is when they don’t show you these animal attacks –you hear the pant-soiling growls in front, behind and on the sides of you and see the tall weeds indicating something is heading your way. And they do this at night. Nerve-wracking set-up to balance the food chain.

Proie

There’s so much goopy gore and blood gushing towards the end, you kinda feel the need to bathe after watching it unfold, which it does nicely. (Just when you think this madness is ending, it throws some more twists and gunk at you several more times.)

With that, Proie is subtitled, even the animal noises. Just wish I could read so as to get a much more satisfying movie experience.