Archive for American Horror Story

40 Year-Old Horror, Literary Madman, Male Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on October 26, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Halloween

Every since it was announced Jamie Lee Curtis was returning to reprise her role as Laurie Strode in Halloween (first released in 1978), fans have been clamoring in their pants. So much so, fan art for the as yet untitled Halloween sequel (scheduled for October 18, 2018), has been popping up like seasonal measles all over the Internet, the one featured here being one of the better examples. (Don’t know who to credit as they didn’t put their secret identity on it.)

Halloween

Until the REAL title is announced, we’ll just have to be happy with the official plot: “Laurie Strode comes to her final confrontation with Michael Myers, the masked figure who has haunted her since she narrowly escaped his killing spree on Halloween night four decades ago.”

Meanwhile, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that hopefully won’t make you wait 40 years for the sequel…

Edgar Allen Poe: Buried Alive

EDGAR ALLEN POE: BURIED ALIVE (October 30, 2017/PBS)
Edgar Allan Poe: Buried Alive draws on the rich palette of Poe’s evocative imagery and sharply drawn plots to tell the real story of the notorious author. Narrated by Oscar — and Tony — nominated, two-time Golden Globe-winner Kathleen Turner, American MastersEdgar Allan Poe: Buried Alive explores the misrepresentations of Poe as a drug-addled madman akin to the narrators of his horror stories.”

Looking forward to this one as it stars the brilliantly versatile Denis O’Hare from the American Horror Story series. That guy comfortably wears so many acting hats, I’m surprised his next movie isn’t about a haberdashery, which I believe is a British hat store. Hat is way easier to spell than haberdashery.

Attack of the Killer Donuts

ATTACK OF THE KILLER DONUTS (November 17, 2017)
“A chemical accident turns ordinary donuts into blood thirsty killers. Now it’s up to Johnny, Michelle and Howard to save their sleepy town from…Killer Donuts.”

Yeah, but what kind of donuts? Bear Claws seem to make obvious sense. Not so much for maple bars — unless they’re thrown at your head as if a yummy, sticky brick. Still, we’ve already had Attack of the Killer Tomatoes (1978); what’s next — Attack of the Killer Hot Dogs? That actually might be cool, now that I think about it.

Scream Queen! My Nightmare on Elm Street

SCREAM QUEEN! MY NIGHTMARE ON ELM STREET (2017/2018)
“A documentary film focusing on the gay experience in Hollywood horror, Scream, Queen! My Nightmare On Elm Street explores how that experience has changed in the three decades since Mark Patton’s controversial portrayal of Jesse Walsh, the object of Freddy Krueger’s latent desire in Nightmare on Elm Street 2: Freddy’s Revenge (1985).”

Scream, Queen! examines the infamous homo-erotic subtext and the special place the film holds in the Nightmare franchise as well as the gay film canon. Partly in thanks to evolving social mores, Nightmare on Elm Street 2 — which was considered controversial at the time of its release — is now being looked back upon with a new appreciation and fondness by horror aficionados and fans of the series. While Freddy’s Revenge, dubbed “the gayest horror movie ever made,” cemented Freddy as a pop culture icon, Patton was never heard from again. After 30 years of living in near obscurity, Patton is back to talk about how his American dream became a nightmare during the homophobic AIDS crisis in Hollywood and why he had to give it all up.”

Just because they showed a male bare bottom being invisibly horsewhipped in Nightmare on Elm Street 2 doesn’t mean it’s a gay horror movie. It’s the scene where Jesse would rather crawl through a bedroom window to “crash” with his bare-chested buddy than have willing, carte blanche relations with his hot red-headed girlfriend.

Restraint

RESTRAINT (2018)
“A disturbed young woman who plunges into a darkness after becoming unexpectedly pregnant, becoming a threat to her family and herself.”

So much for a second date. Then again, plunging into darkness just might re-heat the leftovers.

Getting Soaked With Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens, Vampires, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 26, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

Looks like the new release horror/sci-fi movie/TV hose is going from dribble to Willy Water™ in no time as film studios pump up for a hopefully powerful Fall/Halloween release schedule. (P.S. Willy Water™ is a gas – I play with mine daily. Okay, that didn’t come out right.)

American Horror Story / Fear The Walking Dead

Horror TV has come a long way in the past seven years on the heels of the staggering critical and commercial success of The Walking Dead. The Internet is soiling itself speculating which of the beleagured group gets a home run hit to the brain bag with a barb-wire baseball bat, the excruciating cliffhanger from season 6. Like you, I have my theories. But I’m probably right and everyone on the Internet is wrong. I won’t gloat, though.

The Strain / iZombie

Then we have the final season of American Horror Story, the third season of Fear The Walking Dead (triple yawn) the third season of The Strain, and upcoming season three of iZombie (fun show – LOTS of brain eating recipes.) And if you haven’t seen ’em, reserve some butt/couch time for Stranger Things (left field awesome) and released earlier this year, The Returned (French made/subtitled – exquisitely creepy and…different.)

Stranger Things / The Returned

Amazingly, The Exorcist, a new TV series, is making its debut September 23, 2016 on Fox™. Not sure how they’re gonna pull this one off other than “demon of the week” with an exorcist guy getting “cross” (heh) with ’em. I’ll give it a shot, but it sounds like Constantine right outta the pew.

There’s more horror TV – all you have to do is slouch on the couch and watch ‘em. As for new horror movies, here’s another batch for your time-wasting consideration…

The Exorcist / Abattoir

ABATTOIR (in post-production as of this e-burping)
Plot: “A real estate reporter investigates a mysterious old man who is building a haunted house constructed from rooms where deaths have occurred.”
Thoughts: Sounds like a refreshing take on the haunted house theme that’s clogging up theaters with teen jump scare moments galore.

Guardians / The Disappointment's Room

GUARDIANS (Russia/February 23, 2017)
Plot: “During the Cold War an organization called Patriot created a superhero squad, which includes members of multiple Soviet Republics. For years the heroes had to hide their identities, but in hard times they must show themselves again.”
Thoughts: I liked it better when it was called The Avengers/Watchmen.

THE DISAPPOINTMENT’S ROOM (September 9, 2016)
Plot: “A mother and her young son release unimaginable horrors from the attic of their rural dream home.”
Thoughts: YET ANOTHER haunted house theme that’s clogging up theaters with teen jump scare moments galore.

Ouija: Origin of Evil / Daylight's End

OUIJA: ORIGIN OF EVIL (October 21, 2016)
Plot: The sequel takes place in 1965 Los Angeles where a widowed mother and her two daughters add a new stunt to bolster their séance scam business and unwittingly invite authentic evil into their home. The youngest daughter is overtaken by the merciless spirit, forcing this small family to confront unthinkable fears to save her and send her possessor back to the other side.
Thoughts: I’ve seen this before. You’ve seen this before, We’ve ALL seen this before. It’ll be the origin of stupidity if either of all of us pays to see it again.

DAYLIGHT’S END (out now)
Plot: “Years after a plague turns most of humanity into monsters, a rogue drifter agrees to guide a band of survivors to sanctuary.”
Thoughts: YET ANOTHER zombie movie with the SAME PLOT as about a thousand million other zombie movies.

Willy Water

Helix: Disease TV

Posted in Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 18, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Helix

I’m often wary of made-for-TV horror and sci-fi as they water it down so much as to be a non-alcoholic beverage. Then along comes brutally brilliant stuff like The Walking Dead and American Horror Story to set things right for TV again.

So it is with these same high hopes I wish for Helix, an intensely gripping sci-fi series about disease-gone-wild, premiering on the improving SyFy™ Channel in January, 2014. If you haven’t seen the trailers, feast your face on this: “Helix is an intense thriller about a team of scientists from the Centers for Disease Control who travel to a high-tech research facility in the Arctic to investigate a possible disease outbreak, only to find themselves pulled into a terrifying life-and-death struggle that holds the key to mankind’s salvation…or total annihilation.”

Total annihilation. Those two words go together like “cold” and “beer.”

Helix

What gives me excitement pee shivers is that Steven Madea is on board as Helix’s co-executive producer. You may have seen his credit on Lost, CSI: Miami, and The X-Files.

All things being equal, Helix is a contemporary spin on 1971’s Andromeda Strain, which I deftly reviewed and posted on January, 9, 2013. As I recall, the seas were rough that day. I had finished the first of what was to be an entire half rack of Budweiser. Sharing was not an option.

To let the review enrich your life, click HERE

Killer Headwear

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 19, 2013 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

You're Next

Not released as of this dissertation (sorry – word of the day calendar), but You’re Next is the latest in an uncomfortable trend of home invasion horror movies. Doesn’t this stuff happen every 30 seconds in thre world? Wondering out loud why we need movies depicting it.

The Strangers

Home invasion movies often feature a person or persons of will ill-intent, doing the whole cat-n-mouse thing with their victims while wearing masks. I guess that’s the only way to make movies like this marketable.

The Purge, The Collector

The invaders in You’re Next are wearing stylish animal masks.  There’s a cat, a lamb and some sort of man-bear pig (props, South Park.) Admittedly, few would go see this movie if the killers were just wearing ski masks from REI™ or (my fav), Jos. A. Bank ™. ( Just kidding – they won’t let me in the door. Screw you guys – I’m buying my facewear at Target™.)

Jason 'n Michael

Then you have the 2013 hit, The Purge, where the killers wear cartoon-y human face masks. Not too scary, but easily found at Planet Halloween™.

Leatherface 'n Alice

Then there was the plastic girl and stitched burlap headgear worn in The Strangers (2008). And let us not forget the leather bondage mask employed to generic but creepy effect in The Collector (2009) and American Horror Story (2011). Note to nit-pickers: Yes, I know American Horror Story is not a home invasion movie. It’s a family-friendly TV series along the lines of The Waltons (1971 – 1981).

Motel Hell

Regardless of all the countless masked serial killers (home invaders or not) – from Jason Voorhees (hockey mask/Friday the 13th) and Michael Myers (Capt. Kirk/Halloween), to Leatherface (un-moisturized face/Texas Chain Saw Massacre) and even the cute as a button terror tot Alice (ballerina/Alice Sweet Alice), one still resonates as being the ickiest and ballsiest (I think that’s a word) mask of all time: the severed pig head worn by farmer/butcher/entrepreneur Vincent Smith in Motel Hell (1980). Not only is it supremely scary, but later, after you take it off, your face will smell like bacon. If that isn’t a double bonus, I don’t know what is.