Archive for Afghanistan

Cute Cyborgs, Christmas Carnage, Ghosts Aplenty

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on August 18, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

Hard to believe it’s been 25 years/countless slaughtered teens ago that Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday (August 13, 1993) splattered across movies screens and into our hearts. And what a better way to commemorate that non-recognized postal holiday than with a documentary about it.

The Dark Heart of Jason Voorhees

From the press release: “The film will be giving viewers a never-before-seen in-depth look at the most infamous Jason film of all time. Through interviews and behind the scenes details, you will understand the unique landscape the series was in at the time, having just changed studios and already being on the road to the eventual Freddy vs Jason (August 13, 2003) film which wouldn’t see release for another 8 years. And you will see genre greats, both who were in the film and not, weigh in on Jason’s journey to hell.”

Jason Goes To Hell: The Final Friday

Sounds like a big bowl of warm ice cream for the eyes. No official word on when this thing is supposed to premier, but a fair guess would be soon-ish-esque. So while we wait for it like we have to go to the bathroom really bad, here are a few now available/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not make your bladder splatter…

The Keeping Hours

THE KEEPING HOURS (available now)
“Mark, a successful attorney, returns to his old house after the tenants skipped out on rent. While there he experiences a supernatural event that forces him to reach out to his ex-wife. Ten years after their son’s death, a ghost will help reunite the estranged couple and deliver a message of life or death.”

Geez, they all but tell you who the ghost is. Why don’t the filmmakers just tell me what I’m getting for Christmas — and there better be twelve of ‘em, if you catch my drift.

Diane

DIANE (September 17, 2018)
“Steve’s lingering physical and emotional scars from the war in Afghanistan plunge him into a soulless routine. He continues his drab existence until the corpse of a beautiful singer, Diane, is dumped in his backyard, shaking him back to reality. Steve takes a photo of her before calling the police and soon he becomes obsessed with the dead woman’s image. Steve is scrutinized by the police, becoming the prime suspect hassled by Diane’s widower, and attacked by self-righteous neighbors. Before long, the malevolent ghost of Diane begins to work a dark spell that leads Steve to strange and startling revelations.”

Caught someone dumping an old couch in the alley behind my apartment. Better that than a corpse. But still, you can’t toss it in Elliott Bay? It’s deep enough to hold 10,000 old couches. (FYI: If you see one bobbing around with a KISS sticker on it, I may or may not know who it belongs to. Ahem.)

Mrs. ClausMRS. CLAUS (November 13, 2018)
“A group of college students attending a Christmas party at a sorority house that has a sinister past are stalked by a bloodthirsty killer disguised as Mrs. Claus.”

After living in Santa’s fat shadow for all these years, it’s nice to see Mrs. Claus finally get her day in the sun, even if it is an impostor posing as her.

Alita: Battle Angel

ALITA: BATTLE ANGEL (December 21, 2018)
“This is a science fiction movie about a robot called Alita. Set several centuries in the future, the abandoned Alita is found in the scrapyard of Iron City by Ido, a compassionate cyber-doctor who takes the unconscious cyborg Alita to his clinic. When Alita awakens, she has no memory of who she is, nor does she have any recognition of the world she finds herself in. As Alita learns to navigate her new life and the treacherous streets of Iron City, Ido tries to shield her from her mysterious past.”

The future is so advanced, now they have homeless robots. Looks like some things will never change.

Desert UFOs

Posted in Aliens, Bigfoot, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , on November 7, 2016 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Objective

Did a capsule review of The Objective (2008) back in the waning hours of 2011. And because you’ve been biting your nails in anticipation for a comprehensive throw down every since, I give to you the full meal deal…

The Objective

A CIA operative (I don’t know what that is) leads six elite special forces military guys into the Afghanistan desert to hunt and shoot terrorists. There’s a whole lotta nothing out there: a few rocks, some dirt, a bunch of bugs, a UFO

The Objective

The CIA guy uses hi-tech heat-sensing equipment to film anomalies (lights, shapes, triangles that look like the Master Control Program in Tron/1982), and beaming the images back via satellite uplink. A peek through the infrared camera shows humanoid shapes walking into a triangle. The naked eye, however, sees nothing. Freakin’ freaky.

The Objective

Nervous nerves getting frayed to the point of insubordination, the CIA agent explains they’ve known about the “visitors” for years, and that their mission wasn’t to seek out terrorists and shoot them in the belief system, but to gather more information and see if we could borrow their other-world technology to, like, conquer this world.

The Objective

Interesting concept, but the weak pay off makes me think that maybe we aren’t being visited by aliens after all, and that I’ve just been wasting my time thinking so. I’m gonna shift my theories back over to Bigfoot. He won’t let me down.

Space Stoner

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Star Leaf

Pot horror/sci-fi is nothing new. In fact, there are bales of ’em: Pot Zombies (2005), Evil Bong (2006), Hansel & Gretel Get Baked (2013) to name but a few, though the horror movie Reefer Madness (1936) remains the best.

Now comes Star Leaf (releasing November 24, 2015), which combines marijuana with extraterrestrials. This is an interesting twist because it’s usually after you’ve sparked some friendly herb that you start seeing aliens.

Here’s how Star Leaf lights up: “A group of friends set off to find a secret forest of marijuana hidden deep in the Olympic Mountains. Legend has it the plants are of extraterrestrial origin, and two ex-Marines among the group hope it will cure their PTSD born from hard combat in Afghanistan.”

Alien pot. Wonder if it comes in pill form?

Reefer Madness