Archive for adult beverages

Boar Gore

Posted in Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 4, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Boar

You know how when you’re sitting in a bar having an excessive amount of refreshing adult beverages and talking to the hobo next to you, and the topic inevitably turns to giant razorbacks rampaging around the Australian Outback and eating people? Order another drink because a movie is being made with that same subject matter.

Boar

Boar, releasing in 2016, is the bloody and violent (i.e., heartwarming) story of a monstrous razorback with jagged tusks eating people. Yeah, it’s been done many times before (Razorback/1984, Pig Hunt/2008, Chaw/2009, Prey/2010, Hogzilla/2014), but infrequent enough to warrant another romp and chomp.

Boar

Here’s what will boar us: “In the harsh, yet beautiful Australian outback lives a beast, an animal of staggering size, with a ruthless, driving need for blood and destruction. It cares for none, defends its territory with brutal force, and kills with a raw, animalistic savagery unlike any have seen before. Believed nothing more than a myth, a legend brought to life by a drunken local, the beast ventures closer to civilization, closer to life, and ultimately, closer to death. It’s brutal, it’s bloodthirsty, it’s boar.”

Boar

What makes giant hog horror movies so compelling is the creatures really exist, with some weighing in excess of 1,000 pounds. That’s a lot of breakfast makin’s. Best to stay away from these ferocious beasts and let drunk redneck hunters with machine guns put ’em on the plate for us.

Artificial Werewolves

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, Slashers, Vampires, Werewolves, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on June 30, 2015 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Dark Moon Rising

Always up for a new werewolf movie, but after watching the trailer for the poorly titled Dark Moon Rising (releasing August 4, 2015), I have some reservations. First, the plot…

“A group of shape-shifting werewolves descend upon a small town in search of a girl who is re-born once every 2,000 years. She holds the key to their survival, and all will die who stand in their way.”

Seems reasonable enough. But digital werewolves are not my flea bag. Something about artificial hair and fangs just ain’t cool, man. Even though they self-proclaim Dark Moon Rising as “An American Werewolf in London takes a bite out of Near Dark in this bloody, unique take on The Wolfman legend,” computer generated monsters are suck-o.

Dark Moon Rising

P.S. There was another werewolf movie called Dark Moon Rising that came out in 2009. You’d think the filmmakers of the 2015 version would’ve done a bit of homework. But hey, Hollywood – birthplace of the copy machine.

Dreadtime Stories

The upcoming Dreadtime Stories anthology shows more promise, and even sports a werewolf in one of its 10 (!) stories. I watched the trailer; Now that’s some quality fur and fang action. Here’s an overview…

“A party turns bizarre when a malevolent book makes its way into the hands of the attendees who reveal its tales of monsters, madmen and the supernatural…”

Dreatime Stories

Dreadtime Stories features more than 50 cast members, the bulk of which we can only hope will suffer painful and splattery fates for our entertainment. But we’re gonna have to wait a bit to experience the mayhem as Dreadtime Stories isn’t slated to come out until early 2016.

That sucks. Heck, by then I could be converted into a religious nutcase, renounce all my horror movie ways and quit drinking refreshing adult beverages. Just kidding. Not gonna happen. If it did, that would be the scariest horror story of all time.