Archive for abduction

Inappropriate Aliens

Posted in Aliens, Evil, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 1, 2017 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Evil Aliens

The crew of a cheesy, paranormal TV show in London goes to a remote island farm in Wales to investigate the claims that a young woman and her boyfriend were abducted by aliens, where she was knocked up and returned to her home with two inbred bothers and a dad who can’t speak a lick of any language.

Evil Aliens

Even though the aliens implanted her with a space fetus with chompy teeth two weeks ago, she’s about to give birth any day now. (Her boyfriend didn’t fare so well as his business class was power probed with a drill. That must’ve pinched.)

Evil Aliens

Once at the farm, which is situated near Stonehenge-like rock structures called Devil’s Teeth, the crew go about re-enacting the abduction. Then the real aliens show up. From this point it turns into a gleeful splatterfest unlike anything you’ve seen since the genre-bending Dead Alive (1992).

There are UFOs, cattle mutilations, three-boobed female aliens, sexual intercourse (both of this Earth and not of this Earth), lots of f’n swearing, alien dogs, alien death orbs, arms, legs and heads torn off, shotgun blasts to the face, bow and arrows to the neck, death by wheat thrasher and weed whacker. And there’s not just gallons of blood, but swimming pools of it. This just keeps going on and on, and it’s freakin’ hilarious.

Evil Aliens

Evil Aliens (2005) is smart, gory and goofy, which is why I wade through miles of rancid horror movie garbage while breathing through my mouth, just so I can find ones like this.

Get Probed

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , on September 19, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

 

Extraterrestrial

With a title that puts it on the exam table, Extraterrestrial, a movie about alien encounters/abductions/colonoscopies, is due for release on October 17, 2014/VOD and theatres in November.

I watched the trailer. The movie’s Twitter hashtag – #GetProbed – is pretty much right on the mark…for two reasons.

Here’s how the characters’ personal space gets compromised: “April, is still reeling from her parents’ divorce when she’s dragged back to the vacation cabin she spent fond summers at as a child accompanied by a group of friends. Her trip down memory lane takes a dramatic and terrifying turn when a fireball descends from the sky and explodes in the nearby woods.”

“The group ventures out toward the crash site and discovers the remnants of a ship from another planet along with footprints that suggest its alien occupants are still alive. The college friends soon find themselves caught in the middle of something bigger and more terrifying than anything they could ever imagine.”

Extraterrestrial

I can imagine something bigger and more terrifying. Ever been “examined” by Dr. “Big Finger” Lindermund?

Extraterrestrial

REGARDLESS, I will seek this one out at my nearest TV. In the meantime, try your best not to confuse Extraterrestrial with the other Extraterrestrial, a 2011 film by Nacho Vigalondo. (I don’t know who was responsible for it, but Nacho is one seriously cool name.)

Dr.

In that movie, Dr. “Big Finger” Lindermund, descended from a race of giant hand people, arrives late for his Earth appointment, dispenses with the pleasantries AND lube, and proceeds to wreak excruciating havoc BELOW THE SURFACE. Then he sends you the bill. (Just kidding Nacho, I’m sure your movie is a lot less, um, “invasive.”)