Archive for the Science Fiction Category

Door-To-Door Alien Ghost

Posted in Aliens, Ghosts, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 2, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Night Visitor

In the horrifically genric-titled The Night Visitor (2013), a suburban couple (i.e., upscale snobs) hire a New Age spiritualist (i.e., creatively employed hippie) to assist with their troubled marriage (i.e., not enough time to shop for the latest things to outdo their neighbors.)

The lazy “spiritualist” advises them to videotape their lives, 24 hours a day to get a visual on why they can’t seem to get along. What they discover is their son is having conversations with an unseen entity (i.e., cheap special effect).

Didn’t see that one. Apparently, not deemed worthy enough to play at the multi-screen cineplex at the mall where I should for things I don’t need to show up my snobby neighbors.

Now comes the sequel: The Night Visitor 2: Heather’s Story (2015), which tells us about Heather, a “special” (i.e., more supernatural powers than everyone else) young girl who must protect her family and the planet from the same other-earthly being.”

The Night Visitor 2: Heather's Story

So there’s the hook – it appears Ricky, the kid from the first movie, has been talking to aliens, not ghosts, even though the new trailer looks like it was photocopied from Paranormal Activity (2009). (I’m not sure how I feel about that. But hey, the sequel is said to delve deeper into the mysteries that originally plagued the Stevens family and their son with the help of a psychic/medium (i.e., creatively employed hippie with slacks).

Might have to go back and watch the first one and, by extension, the second one, just to find out how much the spiritualist and psychic medium charge for their services. Might be time for a career change as full-timin’ it on my couch watching horror movies ain’t putting gluten on the table.

P.S. There are eight movies titled The Night Visitor, dating back to 1971. Maybe even earlier, but you get my snarky insinuation. There may even be a pile of books with that title as well. I don’t know for sure as I can’t read. Oh, I fake it good; but I’m the type of guy who moves his lips while looking at pictures. It sometimes helps to sound things out.

Squid Rock

Posted in Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Scream Queens, TV Vixens with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 28, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Tentacles of the Deep

As a 12 year-old boy, Ray watched his mom and dad get eaten by a Kraken (aka, giant squid), plucked off the boat and ripped into pieces of something that could be fried in tempura batter and served with dipping sauce and a napkin (cloth or paper – your choice).

Tentacles of the Deep

Fast forward to however how old he is now, Ray is on the hunt for the multi-tentacled beast to share his feelings about how wrong it was for Kracky to just eat his parents without asking.

Kraken – Tentacles of the Deep

Good for everyone involved is that Nicole, a supermodel marine archaeologist who wears a science bikini, and with the help of another stunningly smart blonde in a mico-swimsuit, dives among Alaskan sunken boat wrecks in search of a Trojan war mask. She’s been looking for it for years – and this time she finds it within the movie’s first 15 minutes. How lucky is that?

Kraken – Tentacles of the Deep

Boatless Ray looks like Huey Lewis and smooth talks his way onto Nicole’s science barge, where he assists in finding the elusive treasure. But Ray cares not for oversized decorative body wear – he’s out for hard-core fishy justice served up movie star style.

Kraken – Tentacles of the Deep

This would be child’s play were it not for the giant digital squid guarding the treasure. But does that stop everyone from diving down into murky depths to get it? Nope. Do people get eaten by the squid in less time than it takes one to make a sandwich? Yep. Does Nicole show her flotation devices? Nope. Did that make me upset? Yep. Did I like Kraken – Tentacles of the Deep (2006)? Nope.

Mars Gets Marred

Posted in Aliens, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 21, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Mission To Mars

In the futuristic year of 2010, a bunch of space guys ’n gals go to Mars to see how cheap the real estate is and end up discovering a mysterious dirt mountain that doesn’t want them to see what’s under all that lunar dust. So it forms itself into an uncircumcised weiner-esque tornado and sucks them up.

Mission To Mars

Time for a rescue crew to earn their NASA food stamps. After an over-long mishap that has the search mission abandoning ship right outside Mars’ stinky atmosphere, the survivors hitch a ride on an orbiting satellite (!), land it, and discover the Mars Face is real, made by a race of aliens that glow in the dark.

Mission To Mars

No brains get eaten, no space-borne infestation worming its way through an unsuspecting cerebral cortex. Just a lot of word barf and meager special effects.

Mission To Mars

Mission To Mars (2000) is remarkable in that it doesn’t make – or have – a point about anything. If only there were just one scene where a female astronaut wore a bikini space suit so we could see…Uranus. Man, that joke never gets old – heh.

Billion Dollar Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Science Fiction, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 19, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Saw

Mind-boggling to think Saw (2004), celebrating its 10th anniversary as being the genesis of the highest-grossing horror franchise in film history ($103 million box office) was, in the beginning, given a small budget ($1.2 million) and shot in less than three weeks.

Since that time, we’ve been lavished with a total of seven Saw films, which have generated nearly $880 million sawbucks worldwide. (Saw VI/2009 made a mere bus change, coming in as the least successful of the batch at $68 million. How embarrassing.)

Saw

One of the coolest aspects of the first Saw movie is Jigsaw, the main character for the first few films, never killed his prey, but rather let them decide their own fate via incredibly ingenious traps that would allow you to live if, but with its pound of flesh toll for a reason that put you there in the first place. You might lose an arm or the ability to reproduce. But hey, you’d still be a player if you survived Jigsaw’s traps. (Man, I’m glad Jigsaw didn’t put me in one of those things; I call 9-1-1 whenever I get a paper cut.)

Saw

So here’s how nearly one billion dollar’s worth of torture horror began all those years ago…

Two men trapped and chained inside an awesomely filthy warehouse restroom with no anti-bacterial wipes or a way out. There’s also two dull blade hacksaws and a dead dude laying on the floor between ’em.

Saw

An eerie tape recorded message explains why they are here and how, if they can successfully “play the game,” can get out.

This is ground zero for one of horror’s most nasty chain of events, and a highly-successful franchise that situates deserving people in brilliantly designed death traps that, if not played by the rules, ends up with body parts being gruesomely penalized in a way I can only describe as exquisite.

The hacksaws should’ve gotten screen credits.

Saw

Frankenstein vs. The Mummy

Posted in Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 14, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Frankenstein vs. The Mummy

Frankenstein vs. The Mummy. I think they mean Frankenstein’s Monster vs. The Mummy. Frankenstein was a scientist who beat up people with his brain. Frankenstein’s Monster threw little non-bouyant girls into lakes. Nevertheless, a nice mash-up between two reanimated dead flesh bags to be enjoyed by all.

Arriving February 10, 2015, Frankenstein vs. The Mummy has a plot that sounds like a WWE pay-per-view: “Dr. Victor Frankenstein and Egyptologist Naihla Khalil are both professors at a leading medical university. Victor’s latest grisly “experiment” is the re-animated corpse of a sadistic madman, and Naihla’s most recent find is the cursed mummy of an evil pharaoh.”

“When the two monsters face-off in an epic showdown, no one is safe from the slaughter. Can the murderous rampage be stopped and the carnage contained before it’s too late?”

Frankenstein Meets The Wolf Man / Dracula vs. Frankenstein

Lest ye forget, Frankenstein’s science experiment has battled many a monster throughout history, starting with Frankenstein Meets The Wolfman in 1943, ripping arms off in Dracula vs. Frankenstein in 1971 and kicking fur in a wrestling re-match in 2011’s brilliantly campy Monster Brawl, in which Mr. Stein takes on a werewolf in the squared circle.

Monster Brawl

But for sheer brass knuckle-headedness, you might check out 1965’s Frankenstein Conquers the World, with a 50-foot Frankenstein’s Monster going hammerlock to hammerlock with Baragon, one of Godzilla’s punching bags.

Frankenstein Conquers The World

So who won in each of these battles? We, the viewers.

Nazi Dinosaurs

Posted in Aliens, Fantasy, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, UFOs with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on November 11, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

Did you see Iron Sky, the 2012 independently made Nazi UFO movie? Of course you did, how silly of me. The production values were some of the best ever seen for an indie funded movie. And while the storyline of a Nazi stronghold on the moon plotting a comeback tour after being served by our troops back in 1945 was a deliciously nice take, the main characters were a disappointing and annoying distraction. With the hopeful release of Iron Sky: The Coming Race, the filmmakers have a chance to fine-tune their game.

I say hopeful as the movie is being crowd-funded on IndieGoGo™ [click here]. As of this writing they have only rounded up $91,000 of their intended $500,000 goal and 40 days left to make dinosaurs happen. Being a patron of the arts, I pledged a generous $18.00 to the cause.

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

And what a cause it is: the extremely well-produced trailer exhibits the uncommonly high-production values first depicted in Iron Sky and shows a woman, who is in reality a shapeshifting reptilian in the Antarctic (or someplace frozen and snowy) taking an elevator down to the center of the Earth, which is hollow like a malt ball and a paradise of sorts. It’s there she greets Hitler riding a T-rex dinosaur. I might have to go back and pledge another $18.00 as this looks cooler than the snow up top.

Iron Sky: The Coming Race

Here’s the plot: “Twenty years after the events of Iron Sky, the former Nazi Moonbase has become the last refuge of mankind. Earth was devastated by a nuclear war, but buried deep under the wasteland lies a power that could save the last of humanity – or destroy it once and for all.”

“The truth behind the creation of mankind will be revealed when an old enemy leads our heroes on an adventure into the Hollow Earth. To save humanity they must fight the Vril, an ancient shapeshifting reptilian race and their army of dinosaurs.”

Iron Sky

I declare all of that to be awesome. And in case you want to get up to speed on Iron Sky, the movie is on Netflix™ and I blogged all over myself about it twice here, once in July of 2010 [click here] and again on February 10, 2012 [click here].

P.S. No I am not cheap. $18.00 is all I could afford after spending $1,200.00 on new hair product. Hey, a sci-fi fan fan has to look his best.

P.P.S. The ad poster for Iron Sky: The Coming Race liberally borrows its look from 2005’s War of the Worlds remake. Don’t let that keep you from giving generously in their time of need.

War of the Worlds

Arthouse Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , on November 7, 2014 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Prometheus Triumphant: A Fugue in the key of Flesh

Prometheus Triumphant: A Fugue in the Key of Flesh (2009) is a modern homage to the silent film era. As if the pompous art house title wasn’t enough to steer you clear.

Some doctor has been experimenting with reanimating the dead and tries it out on his deceased girlfriend. Been there, resurrected that.

Prometheus Triumphant: A Fugue in the Key of Flesh

Prometheus Triumphant is in black and white and also uses those annoying pop-up dialogue boxes to convey conversation. What little blood there is looks black. And because there’s no sound other than a “rich symphonic score” (i.e., classical music with too many notes), you can’t hear anyone screaming.

And what is a horror movie without screaming? A BORING horror movie.

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