Archive for the Classic Horror Category

Galloping Ghosts, Another Apocalypse, Leggy Mermaids

Posted in Aliens, Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Misc. Horror, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Galloping Ghost Arcade

Wanna play rare and classic horror/sci-fi-themed pinball? Then you’re gonna have to gallop to the Galloping Ghost Arcade in Brookfield, IL. Depending where you live if not in Brookfield, the cost of getting there will be a LOT of quarters.

Galloping Ghost Arcade

The famed arcade now has said super rare pinball machines, ready to suck up your pocket change like a hobo Roomba™: Twilight Zone, A Nightmare on Elm Street, The Addams Family, Godzilla (the sucky 1998 monster, not the non-sucky 1954 version), Tales From The Crypt, Creature From The Black Lagoon, Aliens, and the super-rare one-of-a-kind prototype of Predator, with red skulls on elongated skeletal spines mounted on each side of the machine. If you lose, your skull plus spine gets ripped out and hung on the trophy wall. (It’d be cool if that were true.)

Galloping Ghost Arcade

$15 — $20 gets you unlimited play on all the machines all day. I would’ve paid at least $20.01. So while you inner weep with anguish that you’re not within tilting distance of the Galloping Ghost Arcade, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi TV series and movies that may or may not give you unlimited viewing for $20, give or take a few quarters…

The Passage

THE PASSAGE (January 14, 2019/Fox™)
“Based on author Justin Cronin’s trilogy of the same name, The Passage is a character-driven action drama that focuses on Project Noah, a secret medical facility where scientists experiment with a dangerous virus that could lead to the cure for all disease — but it also could potentially wipe out the human race. When a young girl is chosen to be a test subject, a federal agent is tasked with bringing her in, but he becomes her surrogate father, determined to protect her at any cost — even as Project Noah’s work threatens to unleash an unimaginable apocalypse.”

This one’s a TV series and sounds apocalyptical-y edgier than we’re used to getting from the Fox Network. The irony here being that most of Fox’s programming qualifies as apocalyptical-y craptacular, Gotham, The Exorcist and Lucifer notwithstanding. (Hell’s Kitchen? Is that stupid thing still on the air?)

10

10 (January 18, 2019/Netflix)
Sam, a teenage girl, is one of the last people on a post-cataclysmic Earth. With the final shuttle scheduled to leave the planet, she must decide whether to journey to the launch point and join the rest of humanity, or remain on Earth, a castaway in the only home she has ever known.”

This looks to be based on an episode of Futurama (“A Farewell To Arms”/2012). Don’t screw with a guy who knows his cartoons.

The Golem

THE GOLEM (February 5, 2019)
“During an outbreak of a deadly plague, a young woman, Hanna, must save her tight-knit Jewish community from invaders. Turning to Jewish mysticism, she conjures a dangerous entity to protect her and her people. However, the powerful creature she summons may be far more evil than anything she could have ever imagined.”

Wrote about the original Golem before — several times. It was done in 1915 and was a German silent film, blah, blah, blah. And yes, there have been remakes with the EXACT SAME PLOT.

The Isle

THE ISLE (February, 2019/Limited theater release)
“Set in 1846 on a remote island off the west coast of Scotland, where three survivors from a mysterious sinking of their merchant ship find themselves stranded on a small misty isle. The isle’s four sole secretive residents, an old harbor man, a farmer, his niece and a young mad woman, are anything but welcoming and reluctant to aid the sailors back to the mainland. The promise of a boat never materializes leading one of the sailors to question why people had abandoned the island. Through his investigation he discovers that every year around the same date a tragedy at sea would occur and young men from the island would perish. When his two shipmates meet with fatal accidents, the myth of a ghostly siren haunting the island leads him to try and uncover the truth.”

Sounds like mermaids with legs. (Come to think of it, nice visual.) This also seems to echo the plot of the new movie, The Vanishing (2019). I haven’t seen that one yet, but I don’t think it has mermaids with legs. Too bad; I might’ve watched it twice by now. 

Black Horror, Sequel Monsters, Future Religion

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Science Fiction, Vampires, Werewolves with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 9, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Horror Noire

Shudder™, the go-to horror/sci-fi streaming channel, just announced something pretty dang cool. They’re exclusively premiering Horror Noire: A History of Black Horror, an original documentary on Thursday, February 7, 2019. It’s based on the same-named and highly-regarded book by Dr. Robin R. Means Coleman, which means now that it’ll be on TV, I don’t have learn how to read. Sweet!

They’re gonna start with the silent film era and hit the gas from there, Expect tons of interviews with directors, writers and actors, and more.

Horror Noire is doing special screening events in New York and Los Angeles before it makes it to the small screen. Until then, here are a few now available and upcoming horror/sci-fi that may or may not be silent…

Monsterland 2

MONSTERLAND 2 (available now)
“As monsters continue to destroy the world, we travel around the globe where stories of strange beasts and epic creatures are all too common. Beware a young girl with a brace on her face, she may just eat you alive if you aren’t looking. Watch out for werewolves, vampire hunters, and monsters that eat you from the inside out. No one is safe when the monsters are hiding amongst us and within.”

The best way out of this is to become a monster yourself. I proudly achieved that career goal a long time ago.

The Harvesting

THE HARVESTING (available now)
“To escape their marital problems, a young family travels from the city to spend the summer in Amish Country where a malevolent presence grips them. They soon discover that they were brought there for a reason and they must break free before the demonic hold consumes them.”

Malevolent presence and a vacation in an Amish-controlled country? Not sure which would be worse.

Loophole

LOOPHOLE (available now)
“The future of humanity hangs in the balance, as both sides race against time to find the bloodline of Judas Iscariot (one of the original Twelve Disciples of Jesus Christ). When Lexi, a simple college student, finds herself in the middle of an all-out spiritual war, she is forced to trust a complete stranger. Kidnapped, rescued, then in hiding, she knows she has to act, but will she have enough time to save humanity?”

Heaven battling Hell has been an ongoing theme in horror/sci-fi movies for so long, it sounds like a WWE pay-per-view. They could call it Heaven vs. Hell In A Cell. Heh.

Koma

COMA (aka, Koma/January 25, 2019/Russia)
“After a colossal and mysterious accident a young talented architect comes back to his senses in a very odd world that only resembles the reality. This world is based on the memories of the ones who live in it — people who are currently finding themselves in a deep coma. Human memory is spotty, chaotic and unstable. The same is the Coma — odd collection of memories and recollections — cities, glaciers and rivers can all be found in one room. All the laws of physics can be broken. The architect must find out the exact laws and regulations of Coma as he fights for his life, meets the love of his life and keeps on looking for the exit to the real world which he will have to get acquainted with all over again after the experience of Coma.”

This one sounds crazy cool. Though cities, glaciers and rivers all in the same room? Sounds like the bathroom at The Tug Tavern.

Scary Clothes, Murderous Hotels, Grassy Horror

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Ghosts, Scream Queens, Slashers with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on January 5, 2019 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Cavity Colors

Awesome new swag from CavityColors.com, featuring nine shirts/tank tops/baseball shirts based on the Hall of Fame horror movie, Carrie (1976). Prices range from $27.00 to $37.00, so there’s no excuse to not raid your retirement fund.

Cavity Colors

What? You say you haven’t seen Carrie or read the Stephen King book on which it was adapted? First, may shame fall upon thee. Secondly, here’s the plot AGAIN: “Withdrawn and sensitive teen Carrie White faces taunting from classmates at school and abuse from her fanatically pious mother at home. When strange occurrences start happening around Carrie, she begins to suspect that she has supernatural powers. Invited to the prom by the empathetic Tommy Ross, Carrie tries to let her guard down, but things eventually take a dark and violent turn.”

Carrie

A vast understatement. The prom scene is one of the most iconic in horror film history, using split screen and split spleen technology. And it also has one of the coolest “fill your pants” endings you’ll ever fill your pants to.

Before you go to your own prom, here are a few now available/upcoming horror movies that may or may not be worth changing your pants over…

Night Shift

NIGHT SHIFT (available now)
Amy is a young woman hired to work the night shift at a hotel made notorious by a gruesome legend — that 10 years ago, the hotel was the site of a brutal mass murder. As her shift goes into the late hours of the evening, Amy realizes that not only is the story true, but that the killer remains on the grounds, and still has a taste for blood. Trapped in the hotel, with a vicious murderer on her trail, Amy must find a way to escape and save the hotel’s guests in this terrifying thriller.”

If you’re looking for other mediocre hotel horror movies, try 2013’s India-made Horror Story, based on Stephen King’s 1408 (2008). Or you could just re-watch The Shining (1980), the mother of all haunted hotel horror movies and pee your pants AGAIN.

You Might Be The Killer

YOU MIGHT BE THE KILLER (available now)
“As Sam flees from a masked killer at camp, it slowly dawns on him that HE might be the killer. With the help of his film buff friend Chuck, Sam navigates through horror movie tropes to try and make it out of this plot alive.”

This one came out in September of 2018, but someone blinked and it went uncared about. It’s a horror comedy, but for a better take on this theme, shell out a few fun coupons for the far superior The Final Girls (2015). Here’s its plot: “Max, recently orphaned, goes to see a screening of a B-horror movie that her mother made 20 years earlier. When Max and her friends find themselves in the world of the film itself, they must apply their knowledge of horror tropes to survive.”

In The Tall Grass

IN THE TALL GRASS (2019)
“A sister and brother who pull off to the side of the road after hearing a young boy crying for help from beyond the tall grass. Within minutes they are disoriented, in deeper than seems possible, and they’ve lost one another. The boy’s cries are more and more desperate. What follows is a terrifying…”

Sounds like a job for…The Lawnmower Man (1992). Heh.

Cannibals, Evil Hospitals, Murderous Relatives

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Misc. Horror, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 30, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Thing

There’s good news and bad news about this awesome hand-painted poster of the 1981 remake of The Thing. The good news first: It was done by Matthew Peak, the guy who did five Nightmare on Elm Street movie posters. It’s 24”x36” and is hand-numbered and limited to 225 copies for $65.00. (And like my liver, it also glows in the dark.)

The bad news: The poster is already sold out. But check back with the super cool bottleneckgallery.com to see if it’ll be re-issued. You’re welcome. 

The Thing

So whilst I was on Christmas holiday, a bunch of horror/sci-fi movies were released without my permission. My biggest pet peeve with this blog is when movies slip under my radar. So if they got by you as well, here are a few new ones ready to view-per-pay…

The Harrowing

THE HARROWING (available now)
“Haunted by the ritualistic killing of his best friend, a vice detective determined to discover the truth goes undercover into a forensic hospital and is plunged into his own personal hell where demons might be real.”

The demon is really the hospital’s resident proctologist with a really big finger.

Book of Evil

BOOK OF EVIL (available now)
Stan Harris is a procrastinating horror novelist who gets a call from his publisher warning him that he’s only got until the end of the night to complete his latest work. As paranormal events start unfolding around him, Stan finds all new inspiration, and danger, while completing his stories.”

Hey Stan, if you want inspiration for horror stories, meet me at The Tug Tavern — I have such sights to show you.

Cannibals and Carpet Fitters

CANNIBALS AND CARPET FITTERS (available now)
“A group of carpet fitters are sent on a job to an old country house in the middle of nowhere. However they soon discover it’s a trap set up by the savage, cannibalistic family, The Hannings. The carpet fitters are forced to fight for their lives or risk ending up being the evenings dinner. Unfortunately they are not quite your typical heroes!”

Sounds like a British spin on Tucker And Dale Versus Evil (2010). That is not a bad thing. And hey, who doesn’t like British carpet fitters or cannibals, mate?

Sometimes Aunt Martha Does Dreadful Things

SOMETIMES AUNT MARTHA DOES DREADFUL THINGS (available now)
“While on the run from the law, two criminals decide to hide out in a small Florida town. The ringleader, Paul, concocts a plan to pretend to be his child-like accomplice Stanley’s estranged Aunt Martha. Taking over a large old house, Paul and Stanley attempt to lay low, but trouble soon arises when a local girl takes a liking to Stanley and invites him out with her friends. Paul, becoming increasingly paranoid, decides that the only way they can maintain their cover is by murdering everyone who has even the slightest suspicion of what’s really going on, but Stanley isn’t so sure he wants to keep on hiding.”

Cool movie title, but yeesh — this plot needs some work. Let’s start by taking out all the characters and improv the rest.

Worms, Slasher Santa, Whispering Dead

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Fantasy, Foreign Horror, Ghosts, Giant Monsters, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction, Slashers, Zombies with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 21, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

The Walking Dead

If you watched the mid-season finale of The Walking Dead last November, you got to see YET ANOTHER main character die, and were introduced to The Whisperers, YET ANOTHER group of enemies of the still-living. No spoilers, but hot dang, that last scene was right up there with some of TWD’s best “holy sh*t!” moments.

The Walking Dead

Here’s an excerpt from the press release that tells us what’s in store when the show resumes on Sunday, February 10, 2019 on AMC

“The group’s rules and ways of survival no longer guarantee their safety. A whole new threat has crossed their paths, and they soon discover it’s unlike any threat they have encountered or endured before. The group will start to question what they think they see. What may appear to be normal in this post-apocalyptic world could actually be more disturbing and terrifying than when the apocalypse first broke out. All that is certain is the stakes are high and numerous.”

The Walking Dead

A bit generic, but if you’ve read the graphic novels, you kinda already know what holy sh*t is coming down the pipe. Until then, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not scare the holy sh*t outta you…

Mojin: The Worm Valley

MOJIN: THE WORM VALLEY (January 4, 2019)
“Following in the footsteps of blockbuster Mojin: The Lost Legend and based on the bestselling novel series, Mojin: The Worm Valley once again finds legendary tomb explorer Hu Bayi on a dangerous mission as he seeks out the Tomb of Emperor Xian, located on an island of monstrous creatures in this mystical action-adventure.”

A valley of worms and an island of monstrous creatures? Spring break!

Dial Code Santa Claus

DIAL CODE SANTA CLAUS (now showing)
Thomas, a resourceful child, is left alone with his fragile grandfather on Christmas Eve. When a killer dressed as Santa Claus breaks into their home, Thomas does whatever it takes to defend his home and grandfather.”

This originally came out back in 1989 in its native country of France, or a place that sounds like France. It made its way here over the border wall as a bootlegged VHS. But now Dial Code Santa Claus getting a proper release and is making the film house circuit as we e-speak. Hopefully, it’ll be available on DVD — but France is gonna have to pay for it.

Doom Room

DOOM ROOM (January 15, 2019)
“A woman wakes up locked in a small room with no memory of how she arrived there. Unable to escape, and tormented by a series of paranormal entities, she must uncover the riddle of who she is and how she got here.”

YET ANOTHER spin on the Cube/Saw scenario. It also describes the night after drinking in The Tug Tavern.

The Hole In The Ground

THE HOLE IN THE GROUND (2019)
“Trying to escape her broken past, Sarah O’Neill is building a new life on the fringes of a backwood rural town with her young son, Chris. A terrifying encounter with a mysterious neighbor shatters her fragile security, throwing Sarah into a spiraling nightmare of paranoia and mistrust, as she tries to uncover if the disturbing changes in her little boy are connected to an ominous sinkhole buried deep in the forest that borders their home.”

I bet Thomas Crapper, the guy who invented the toilet, was inspired by sinkholes. He should’ve called it the “Stinkhole,” though. Heh.

Vampire Licker

Posted in Classic Horror, Evil, Foreign Horror, Scream Queens, Vampires with tags , , , , , , , , , , , on December 19, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Vampire Junction

In the extremely low-budget Vampire Junction (2001), a hand-held camera “horror” movie about female vampires, the plastic fangs are the only thing that cost any money because it certainly wasn’t spent on plot, lighting or dialogue.

Vampire Junction

Two lesbian vampires shave and lick each other. The camera zooms in on their not-so private parts and leaves it there and assumes that’s supposed to be an integral part of the story. OK, it kinda is, but that’s just because female not-so private parts are somehow…mesmerizing.

Vampire Junction

Lina Romay shows up as an overweight old lady with a Marine-regulation haircut who takes her clothes off. (There’s the “horror” part.) No pun intended, but Lina’s getting long in the plastic tooth. What happened to the superbod she displayed in all its untrimmed glory in Lust For Frankenstein (1998)? Maybe Krispy Kreme™ just opened down the street from her house.

Vampire Junction

One chick vampire has pimples on her butt. Her partner wears goofy make-up that looks like it was applied with a paintball gun. They both look like Winger groupies. And all of this was shot in a hotel room. Yeah, that creates real vampire atmosphere.

Vampire JunctionThere’s some sort of plot, but most of it revolves around the two vampire lesbos getting it on with Lina. I never thought I’d say this, but watching the utterly pointless Vampire Junction has really turned me off to naked girl-on-girl vampire horror. This week, anyway.

The Kings of Kaiju

Posted in Aliens, Asian Horror, Asian Sci-Fi, Classic Horror, Foreign Horror, Giant Monsters, Godzilla, Nature Gone Wild, Science Fiction with tags , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , , on December 17, 2018 by Drinkin' & Drive-in

Rodan

Three new key art posters for Godzilla: King of the Monsters, coming in May 2019. These are pretty dang cool as each of Godzilla’s BFFs (Big F’n Foes) get their own moment in the spotlight.

First, we get to see in sweet detail what Rodan looks like. The gigantic, trouble-making bird had his own movie back in 1956. It was Toho’s (film studio) first color movie and actually featured two Rodans. Wonder if their mom knew the pesky Pteranodons snacked on humans and intentionally knocked over buildings?

Ghidorah

Next up is the three-headed Ghidorah, who was also called Monster Zero back in 1970. In his big screen debut, aliens in shiny suits from Planet X (on the same block as Jupiter), come to Earth asking to borrow Godzilla and Rodan to help smack Ghidorah, who has been flying around and zapping the planet with electric bolts, forcing the English-speaking extraterrestrials to live underground with no windows. Not surprisingly, beans were outlawed.

Mothra

Then we come to Mothra, who was introduced in 1964. (In Japan, the movie was called Mothra vs. Godzilla, but in the States it was titled Godzilla vs. The Thing.) A huge storm (in Japan they called it a typhoon) unearths an egg the size of a shopping mall. In it are twin larvae and Mothra is their mom (or would that be “Momthra”?). Godzilla fancies an omelet and tries to crack the egg, until Mothra flies in as if to say, “Oh, hell no.”

As of this writing Godzilla: King of The Monsters is still about six months away. These new posters help ease my anxiousness to see this monster match-up. Until then, I’ll keep going to my support group meetings.