Monster Metal, Naked Zombies, Supernatural Weather Report

Two things happen during a show by monster horror punk metal band Gwar. The bludgeoning music is so loud, your eardrums will turn into pudding. Secondly, you’re gonna get drenched in blood. And not just any blood, mind you — this is rock ‘n roll blood. You wouldn’t know it, but there is a difference.

Given Gwar’s long-established horror leanings (monstrous costumes and names like Pustulus Maximus), being re-purposed into a graphic novel is a logical extension of the band’s monstersphere. Described as being a harrowing epic of blood, bile and fire, Gwar: In The Duoverse of Absurdity is available now from Z2 Comics™ in a variety of editions, including a bare-bones soft-cover version all the way up to an “only-one-exists” special oversized Berserker hardback edition that costs…$5,999.99. (It’s signed by Gwar and is loaded with a metric ton of cool extras and bonuses. No word if it comes with blood stain remover.)  

The graphic novel’s premise: “Those hard-rocking Scumdogs of the Universe, GWAR, are back in an all-new graphic novel that’s so intense, it even makes them puke! In Gwar: In The Duoverse of Absurdity, fresh off the presses from Z2 Comics™, Blóthar, BälSäc, Beefcake, JiZMak da Gusha and Pustulus Maximus must face off against even more depraved, more evil and more disgusting versions of themselves from an alternate universe to save mankind.”

More evil and more disgusting versions of themselves. Sounds like they’ve been binge drinking at the Tug Tavern. So while you click here to order a copy (hurry — they’re almost sold out), here are a few out now/upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not require you to wash your clothes after viewing ’em…

BABEZILLA VS. THE ZOMBIE WHORDE / Out now (VOD)

“It seemed like a normal day of booty shaking for Babezilla until the evil tweeker pimps scheme to hypnotize the women of the Internet into being their whores accidentally turned them into the ravenous Zimbie WHorde! Babezilla to the rescue!”

Babezilla booty shakes around in clothing no bigger than dental floss. Everything else is just “bone-us” material.

SIGNAL 100 / Out now (Screambox™)

“A group of high school students are forced into an assignment where they are hypnotized and will commit suicide on an unknown command.”

That’s one way to get high school students to do their homework.

ANIMALIA / Out now (VOD)

“Heavily pregnant Itto looks forward to a day of peace and quiet when she gets her affluent household mostly to herself after her husband, Amine, goes away on business. She’s quickly lost sight of her modest origins and has adapted to her new family’s detached opulence. But when a mysterious state of emergency is declared nationwide, Itto struggles to find help; meanwhile, increasingly ominous events and strange weather phenomena suggest a supernatural presence is nearing. While frantically searching for a way back to Amine, Itto unexpectedly finds emancipation and the possibility of solace in a new world order.”

Today’s weather report — cloudy with a chance of aliens.

WE HAVE A GHOST / February 24, 2023 (Netflix™)

“Finding a ghost named Ernest haunting their new home turns Kevin’s family into overnight social media sensations. But when Kevin and Ernest go rogue to investigate the mystery of Ernest’s past, they become a target of the CIA.”

A ghost named Ernest. If I was a ghost, I’d give myself a name like Phil Ur Pants or Rayth.