Melodic Monsters, Demon Dentures, Inflatable Mummy

Godzilla is into classic rock. King Ghidorah prefers industrial metal. And that f’n lunatic Rodan is punk rock all day long. But Mothra, the Queen of Monsters, is all about classical music, which suits her “maestoso” destructive nature. And now you can air conduct an orchestra along to Mondo’s™ original motion picture score (or “soundtrack”) releases of Rebirth of Mothra 2 (1997) and Rebirth of Mothra 3 (1998). Destroying Japan never sounded so dolce.

Composed by Toshiyuki Watanabe and available any day now (click here) on the Death Waltz Recording Co. label, both come with the options of Mosur Wings vinyl or Eco vinyl (Mothra is known for being eco-friendly, but not to ecosystems), are 140 gram vinyl housed inside a silver laminate reflective gatefold jacket, numbered edition of 2000, and sell for $35 each pre-tax/shipping. 

While you’re getting ready for these symphonies of destruction, here are a few upcoming horror movies that may or may not meet your eco-concerns…

HELL ON THE SHELF / Out now (YouTube™)

“An antique Christmas elf doll holds the key to decades of pent-up evil and anger from beyond the grave. Three paranormal investigators are hired by a desperate real estate agent to cleanse a house or find the reason why no tenant stays very long in the ominous structure. Over the course of three nights, the team discovers more about the supernatural happenings than they care to uncover.”

I’ve actually hired paranormal investigators to cleanse my house. They do a great job of ridding the bathroom of evil odors

TOOTH FAIRY 5: PREMOLARS (aka, DRILL TO KILL) / Out now (YouTube™)

“Sammy, a surviving teacher, rejoins her colleagues back at work. After hearing some odd noises around the classrooms Sammy feels she is being watched. When she hears the familiar knocking at the door she realizes her nightmare is not over.”

YET ANOTHER example of a movie title being better than the movie.

THE MUMMY RESURRECTION / December 26, 2022 (VOD)

“When a cursed Egyptian sarcophagus falls into corrupt hands, the new owner becomes obsessed with the perfectly preserved mummified princess contained within and concocts a scheme to bring her back to life. But to do so requires human blood. Joining up with his medical student cousin, the duo undertake horrific experiments that inadvertently unleash pure evil.”

All that effort over a preserved princess when you could just mail-order one. They’re advertised as “adult-sized, life-like love dolls,” though.

THE MACABRE / Release pending 2022/2023 (VOD)

“Shy girl Molly is having a party. She’s inviting her school bullies and has planned one hell of a night. After a party trick goes horribly wrong, each guest is forced into a macabre game of life and death by an ancient demon who forces them to tell horrifying stories.”

This being one of ‘em.

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