Desk-Sized Horror, Alien Hot Dogs, Upsetting Sandworms

Neil Frasier is a British multi-award winning poster, key and book cover artist. I, to date, am not. Nowhere near jealous, but rather bitch-ass envious over his meticulously-detailed art, showing up on such literary film works as Werewolves Within and Manfish, to Fangs vs. Spurs and Penny & The Poppies. (Hey, don’t knock the movie — it rocks. Or, at least it would if you were a pre-teen girl. Hater.)

As featured on his website NFG (Neil Frasier Graphics), are the just-released desktop series, depicting desk-sized posters of Aliens, Ghostbusters, Jaws and Home Alone, which I doubt I’ll buy because the movie had just too many distracting plot holes to be completely enjoyable.

The cost for these premium-printed posters (pre-tax/shipping) is 20£ British poundage or $24.348 U.S. dollarinis (more for the larger sizes). Each of these suitable-to-look-at posters come in four paper specs, two US: 17” x 11” and 24” x 16” and two British: A2 (“23.38 x 16.53”) and A3 (16.53” x 11.69”). Weirdo copy machines in England are f’d in the paper tray.

While you try and figure out what tax and shipping is to the States (I gave up), here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not rock as much as Penny & The Poppies

THE GHOST LIGHTS / Out now (Tubi)

“A journalist returns home after the death of her father and discovers a cassette tape describing mysterious lights appearing in the skies of West Texas. She sets out on a cross-state road trip to discover the truth.”

What’s a “cassette tape”? As with the ghost lights, that must be something of extraterrestrial origin, like the Internet or foot-long hot dogs.

WITCHES OF THE SANDS / January 1, 2023 (VOD)

“The World’s First Post-Modern, Blood-Drenched, Monster-Flying, Ghost-Hunting, Folk Horror, Southern-Gothic B-Movie.”

They had me at “The.”

THE DREADED BALLERINAS/ January 23, 2023 (VOD)

“An odd traveler named Nice Eyes walks the streets and deserts of Utah as his mind, body and soul deteriorate into a far more primitive state.”

Utah? Yep, he turned into a Mormon.

DUNE: PART TWO / November 3, 2023 (Theaters)

“Follow the mythic journey of Paul Atreides as he unites with Chani and the Fremen while on a warpath of revenge against the conspirators who destroyed his family. Facing a choice between the love of his life and the fate of the known Universe, Paul endeavors to prevent a terrible future only he can foresee.”

Loved Dune: Part One (2021), but those mega-giant sandworms that swim in sand of all things, really gooned me out. Was unable to eat foot-long hot dogs for at least a week after watching the movie for the first of seven times. Traumatized, I was.

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