Super Innards, Horror Cupboard, Stairway to Heck

Ever wondered what Marvel’s super humans are made of? Now you can with Marvel Anatomy: A Scientific Study of the Superhuman, a new illustrated hardbound book dissecting guys like The Hulk, Venom, Mystique, The Thing and more. In other words, physical compositions worthy of a centerfold. Written by Marc Sumerak, Daniel Wallace and illustrated by Jonah Lobe, the amazingly detailed breakdowns sticks a finger deep into the anatomical makeup of Marvel’s heroes and super villains.

From the press release: “Featuring exclusive anatomical cutaway illustrations created by concept artist Jonah Lobe (Skyrim, Fallout) and writing by Marc Sumerak (MARVEL Future Revolution) and Daniel Wallace (The Jedi Path), this deluxe book is a visually stunning journey into the powers of the Marvel Universe’s greatest characters. 100+ unique illustration cross sections combined with fascinating insights capture each superhero and super villain’s unique set of powers.”

Freakin’ cool, says me. As of this blah, blah, blah-ging, Marvel Anatomy: A Scientific Study of the Superhuman book (232 pages/ 9.25” x 12.75”/$85.00/Insight Editions) is a pre-order and will ship after October 25, 2022. You can snag one HERE.

So while you’re waiting for the MRI results on your less-than-super anatomy, here are a few upcoming horror/sci-fi movies that may or may not stand up to a deep finger examination…

HOTEL DUNSMUIR / Out now (VOD)

“A young, rural woman with Extra Sensory Perception flees an abusive husband, ending up in a historic hotel containing a sinister presence. After a frightening experience in her room, she sets out on the road, joined by a maid from the hotel who she befriended. As they embark on their journey, they are pursued by evil in multiple forms. Will they make it?”

ESP can be hit or miss. She’d have better luck with a Magic 8-Ball™. She can borrow mine.

CABINET OF CURIOSITIES / October 25, 2022 (Netflix™)

“Guillermo del Toro’s Cabinet of Curiosities (also known as Guillermo del Toro Presents 10 After Midnight) is an upcoming American horror anthology streaming television series created by Guillermo del Toro for Netflix™, based on his short story of the same name. The series features eight unique horror stories that challenge the classical horror genre. Two of the episodes are original works by del Toro himself, while the others are written and directed by various filmmakers.”

CoC is described as both equally sophisticated and horrific. The same can be said about me. Just ask my mom.

NOCEBO / November 4, 2022 (Limited) November 22, 2022 (VOD)

“A fashion designer suffers from a mysterious illness that confounds her doctors and frustrates her husband – until help arrives in the form of a Filipino nanny, who uses traditional folk healing to reveal a horrifying truth.”

Maybe I should try some traditional Filipino folk healing techniques to reveal my horrifying truths. I could do a little Hilot/Ablon (tourist spa massage, aka “The Philippine Gleeful Ending”) or Tuob, which involves wearing a blanket and sitting over a jar heated by coal or steaming pot. Note: Squatting over any pot pretty much guarantees things will start steaming. More in the Filipino medicine cabinet: essential oils (scented Pennzoil™ 30W), herbalism (it’s legal where I live), prayers (mine rhyme), incantations (chants in yer pants), and mysticism (please don’t squeeze the Shaman).

ELEVATOR GAME / Pending release 2023

“The supernatural horror, based on the eponymous online phenomenon, follows Dale, a socially awkward teenager who discovers the night his sister disappeared she had just played The Elevator Game. The ritual is conducted in an elevator, in which players attempt to travel to another dimension using a set of rules that can be found online. Ignoring the many online warnings, Dale resolves to follow and find her. But he discovers that the warnings are there for a reason and the woman on the fifth floor is not what she seems.”

I tried the Elevator Game and nothing happened. Then it occurred — I was on an escalator. I get those two mixed up all the time and don’t know why. From now on if I want to travel to another dimension, I’ll just use the stairs.