A Truly Crappy Horror Movie

Pusit is having a bad day — and it’s about to get worse. A musical instrument salesman in Thailand, Pusit’s top client was nabbed by a ladder-climber co-worker and was fired. Then his car was repossessed. Then his mom calls and needs to borrow money he doesn’t have. And there’s a fly that keeps buzzing around his face. Then he gets an unusual cell phone call telling him that if he can kill the fly with that rolled up newspaper at his feet, 10,000 baht (Thailand dollars) will be put in his bank account. Smacko!

The phone rings again showing his bank account has been credited. Then the caller issues another challenge: eat the dead fly and more money will be put in his account. Yummy. His phone rings again with more money verified. (That never happens to me.)

Then the game begins. The mysterious caller issues a challenge: complete 13 “games” and 100 million baht ($318,347,000.00 in U.S. funds — I checked) will be his.

The tasks start out simple, like making at least three children cry. But it’s the restaurant “game” that’s really tough to watch. Pusit is instructed to walk into a four-star eatery where he is seated and brought a covered dish. The caller says he must eat what’s under the dish in order to go to the next level. The lid comes off and it’s a big plate of something that belongs in a toilet, with gravy and a broccoli floret and slice of tomato. You may not want to watch this scene as he takes his first bite — and finishes the job, even licking the plate. I had to stop the movie right there and go brush my teeth with Clorox™. 

The subsequent challenges get a little more tough, each with consequences. Most of this stuff is funny, but the movie takes a slow harsh turn involving a wire clothesline, a Samurai sword, a little dog and a poop lollipop (sorry, made that last one up).

The tension gets to the point where you’re really rooting for Pusit as he’s trying like hell to play the game right. But now the cops are after him, as is his co-worker chick friend who discovers what “the game” is and sets out to stop it before any more harmless crap gets eaten.

The ending  of 13: Game of Death (2006) is not what you’d expect or predict, and when you think about it, is the only way to tie things up. An intense flick, for sure; You aren’t gonna see many this bizarre or tasty (kidding). Just have your toothbrush standing by.