Yummy Death For Dessert

We All Scream For Ice Cream

A bunch of socially snotty kids play a trick on Buster the Clown, a mentally-handicapped ice cream truck driver, and the clown goes down. In other words, he was made into an ice cream sandwich after the kids pop the brake on his Cheery Tyme truck and it squashes the dealer of non-room temperature treats. No word on whether or not any ice cream survived.

We All Scream For Ice Cream

It’s now 20 years later and the snotty kids have all grown up with snotty children of their own. Time for some revenge, rocky road style. Buster T. Clown, now looking like he’s been through cold storage Hell, has come back from the dead and drives his truck through eerie fog, handing out treats at midnight to kids, who have fallen into a zombie-like state and are out doing a little sleepwalking. (Hey, at least they’re getting some exercise.)

We All Scream For Ice Cream

The ice cream Buster gives them is shaped like people. Once a kid bites into it, their dad dies, dissolving into a big puddle of (wait for it) ice cream. The grown-up kids who killed Buster are themselves being eliminated, one by one, by the cold clown, melted into strawberry, vanilla and chocolate goo.

We All Scream For Ice Cream

Buster can make your car windows frost over, and when you touch him, it’s like sticking your hands in a freezer for two hours, except the effect is instantaneous. (Buster would be handy to have around if there’s any warm beer in the house.)

We All Scream For Ice Cream

Despite this, We All Scream For Ice Cream (2007) is pretty weak and a paint-by-numbers installment for the Masters of Horror series. Yeah, there’s a halfway decent face-melting scene. But it’s simply too stock to be of any social value. It’s enough to make you switch to frozen yogurt, which isn’t as yuck city as you’d think.

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