Bavarian Vampire

In the based-on-a-true-story Bloodlust: The Vampire of Nuremberg (1977), a family-beaten, deaf and dumb guy who witnessed his sister being molested by Father Knows Best (or “Pastor Bedtime”), grows up to discover he has a penchant for watching women have sex with each other and sucking the embalmed gunk out of the throats of dead chicks (not in this order). Fortunately, for him, the local mortuary is overstocked with corpses of attractive young gals.

Calling himself “Mosquito” (cute), he cuts open their boobs, slices off their heads with a pocketknife (!), pops out their eyes, and does near text-book tom-ghoulery in his quest for bloody goodness. He eventually goes after the living and takes out a horny couple trying to bust a move (how rude).

The pacing is slow, the nudity plentiful, the gore explicit. In an homage to Bloodsucking Freaks (1976), try and stomach (if you can) the graphic scenes of a two-pronged straw being used to sip delicious Neck Slurpees™. You’ll never drink blood again.