Kickboxing Future Dinosaurs

In the 8-track version of the future, a human slave from the future is being hunted by a space enforcer and his pet rubber dinosaurs, who wear electric dog collars that keeps them from biting the hand that feeds them.

The slave happens to be an expert in kickboxing. Dinosaurs could care less as they’re made of rubber. So, like, kick all you want. Helping the slave is a prostitute-turned-nun. Talk about having all your bases covered.

There’s way too much kick, not enough prostituting or dinosaur-ing in Future War (1997). But there is no limit to the colored light special effects that would look quite at home on a 1972 Christmas tree.