Lunar Living Dead

Plaguers

Of course I believe that the six supermodels rescued from the U.S.S. Diane were hijacked by astro-pirates who killed the entire crew except them. Wouldn’t you?

Plaguers

Answering the distress call, the fuel transport ship Pandora picks up the silver platform boot-wearing hotties dressed in clothes picked up for cheap at a Star Trek rummage sale. No sooner than they’re on board before they reveal themselves as being the pirates. Dang them all to heck.

Plaguers

But what the pirates don’t know is that the Pandora is carrying a green glowing marble the size of a soccer ball called “Thanatos” (way dumb), a virus entity, which when cracked, leaks out Simple Green™ and turns whomsoever into flesh-gulping space zombies.

Plaguers

One by one, the crew fall prey to those infected and do nothing but chase everyone around for the rest of the movie. (I swear the zombies knew the camera was on them because one even stops to strike a pose.) While the zombies in Plaguers (2008) look somewhat decent (demon mouths, oil breath, open sores), I dare you not to LOL when two chicks fist fight each other. I haven’t seen that kind of wimpy b*tch slapping since I got into it with a stubborn twist top.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: