Death Sea Worm

Parasite

Environmentalists discover that an oil rig is really a front for top secret sci-fi experiments to create a killing worm to sell to the military. This makes the greenies turn red, so they infiltrate the rig and plan to blow it up, never mind that all the resulting pollution would kill off thousands of friendly narwhals and pettable jellyfish.

Parasite

From there Parasite/2004 (aka, Hell’s Mouth) follow the Alien (1979) template almost to the letter, with the monster bug, now the size of 718 hot dogs, snail-trailing it through ventilation shafts and biting those that would seek to slather it in mustard. Note: They should try it with Black Truffle mustard blended with a delicate Chablis (“Shah-blee”). Zingy!

Parasite

The parasite is one of the all-time worst CGI creatures ever plagiarized, looking more like computer clay with plastic teeth. To show you how clichéd this “sci-fi thriller” is, there are 17 movies with the title of Parasite (the one in the ’80s with Demi Moore being the better of the pile).

Hell's Mouth

And the oil rig? Totally not real. It was digital, as was the rain it was being “drenched” in. My theory is that they actually filmed this crapfest in an old warehouse with leftover parasite birthing sacs hanging from the ceiling. I really think I’m right about this.

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