Extraterrestrial Hooptie

Arrival

Two trailers and four international ad posters were just released to honk the marketing horn on the upcoming big-budget sci-fi alien invasion movie, Arrival (November 11, 2016). I’m giddy in anticipation, although a bit disappointed in the Uber™ the extraterrestrials use to get to this toilet Earth.

Arrival

Not resembling what we’re used to seeing as a UFO, this spacecraft looks like a giant black potato chip, possible a Pringle™. Or is it Queen Kong’s diaphragm? Or Godzilla’s heel pad to help relieve his nagging plantar fasciitis, a painful condition a result of decades of stepping on sharp edged buildings/screaming citizens? Or perhaps one of those Julep Konjac Cleansing Sponges™ you can get on QVC.com for $12?

Konjac Cleansing SpongeWhile you mull these propositions, here’s what Arrival wants us to buy into…

“When mysterious spacecraft touch down across the globe, an elite team – led by expert linguist Louise Banks – is brought together to investigate. As mankind teeters on the verge of global war, Banks and the team race against time for answers – and to find them, she will take a chance that could threaten her life and quite possibly humanity.”

Arrival

Man, that’s a weak press blurb. How can you address the arrival of aliens without even once mentioning probing? I think the movie’s marketing team needs to do a bit more homework. I suggest starting in the locker room of the YMCA.

District 9

As alien spacecraft go, I’m voting for the one in District 9 (2009). Man, I’d trade my car for one of those sweet rides.

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