Debbie Does Demons
Two wisecracking guys work for the mysterious M (ala Charlie’s Angels), “acquiring” stuff for the eccentric rich. They get a freelance assignment to “acquire” the Lazarus Stone, a rock that rocks, meaning, it opens the door between the dead and the living. (Same as the one on the Poggie Tavern.)
Before you know it, our heroes are knee deep in stink vampires, stink monsters, stink demons, and smelly hookers, the latter of which they partake as perks of the job. The boys have to get to the L-Stone before this Anti-Jesus does, or else all heck-a-roo will break loose.
Double hip, double smart, and dialogue so double sharp, you can cut your hair with it. Too many great one-liners to illustrate here, but there is a great sex scene between one of the guys and Debbie (or “Deborah”) Gibson, giving him an off-screen slobber knobber, and then turns into the guy’s mom. Flippin’ hilarious.
If you’re worn out from years of watching sub-grade horror, you should probably rent Soulkeeper (2001). When you do, invite me over so I can watch it again. And would it kill you to have some chips and dip laid out when I get there?