Low Tide Love

Venus Drowning

In the super odd/unusual/weird horror flick Venus Drowning (2006), a cute British gal is having a really bad day. The boyfriend that knocked her up just died of cancer. Then she suffers a miscarriage. Then the tries to commit suicide with booze, pills and a knife in a bathtub. (To be fair, she did have non-lethal shampoo.)

Venus Drowning

It was an off-yourself FAIL. So her mental doc prescribes her a holiday at an off-season seaside beach. But as everyone knows, British beaches are always gray, cold and overcast. Good atmosphere for recovering from of depression.

Venus Drowning

It’s here she finds a reverse meatloaf creature thing during low tide. She takes it home, tries to feed it (I’m really hoping that was a mouth), and rubs it. The creature’s secretions stay on her fingers like Cheetos™ dust – and it’s doing to her what catnip does to cats.

A girlfriend comes to visit and after a drinking run ends up bringing a guy back to the pad for a little shag on the carpeting. Meanwhile, the creature in the basement is responding to the pleasure emotions right above what I hope is a head. Then it starts to throb. I really hope this isn’t a clue as to what it is.

Venus Drowning

This affects the suicide girl and she ends up licking it and rolling around on the floor in horniness. This compels her to pick up the SAME GUY her visiting girlfriend did and HAVE SEX WITH HIM. By now it’s clear – the pulsing flesh lump is feeding off the sex energy.

The squishy thing sprouts long tentacles and violates the post-sex sleeping LUCKIEST GUY ON EARTH and sucks out all his chi. When the girl wakes up, she has a blackened, chi sucked rotted corpse in her bed. So much for Saturday night.

Venus Drowning

She breaks the brittle corpse into firewood, piles it in a shopping cart, rolls it down to the beach, and makes a cadaver camp fire. Later, back at the flat, she stabs the sex lump and tosses it in the trash. Solid waste or recyclable – the movie leaves it up to your imagination.

Venus Drowning

Not sure what the point of all this was. But it did hang me up with unresolved questions – what did she do with the shopping cart?!? Did it belong to a local grocery store? Won’t they want it back after it’s washed with commercial-grade Mr. Clean™?

And this is what I took away from all of the above.

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