Wal-Mart Bigfoot

Search For The Beast

In Search For The Beast (1997) – part of the Bigfoot Terror box set – there’s a mysterious creature running loose in Okaloosa, FL — and it looks uncannily like a guy in a Wal-Mart™ gorilla costume.

A local wealthy businessman lost his son to the mythological monster and funds an expedition to hunt that big-footed sucker down and shoot him for what he done. Dr. David Stone is leading the expedition, which includes a van full of fat ass rednecks packing semi-automatic rifles and a hot blonde.

Search For The Beast

Splitting up and searching for the beast (must be how they came up with the movie’s title), we get to see a young gal – who doesn’t look that different from Sasquatch himself – rinsing off her boobs in a waterfall. Then we get to see hippie hillbillies doing a Deliverance-style song. Then we get to see the “beast” pop in and out from behind trees, showing off his white chest and growling like an empty stomach.

Search For The BeastAt first nightfall the doctor, who looks more like a fat, bearded beer drinker, pitches a tent with the blonde. The next day everyone splits up and looks for the costume, uh, monster. A double-cross ensues and the wealthy businessman’s hired guns take over — and take the girl. The doc is smacked thusly upon the head and tied up and left for beast bait. That pisses off Wal-Marty, and he goes all aggro on the hunters.

Search For The Beast

The rest of the movie is everyone getting killed by, or running away from, the monster. But the most laughable scene comes when a redneck teen bends his girlfriend over a foldable camping chair and starts makin’ bacon. The beast comes out of the woods, pushes him away and starts drivin’ the train. The girl, of course, just rolls with it, like getting porked by Bigfoot was an every Saturday night occurrence. Maybe in Okaloosa, it is.

Search For Bigfoot

In summation, Search For The Beast isn’t just the worst Bigfoot movie ever made, but also an insult to gorilla costumes everywhere.

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