Choo-Choo Boo

Ghost Train

If you find a boarding pass on the Tokyo suburb commuter train platform where people spit and walk around with Shiatsu poop on their shoes, DON’T PICK IT UP. Besides countless germs, a ghost lady will appear and say, “Give me what is mine,” and you’ll become a ghost, too. But not just a regular ghost; rather one with evil eyes, evil dark circles under said eyes and pale white onion evil skin.

Ghost Train

Nana, a high school student, has a little sister. Up until today, anyway. Her sister found the boarding pass at the station and the next day she was gone. The day before that another little kid vanished. In fact, a bunch of people have gone missing over the years.

Ghost Train

This explains why a busy station appears to be empty most of the time. Reviewing the security tapes officials notice a shadowy figure stalking the victims. They explain the aberration as a trick of the light. Yeah, a trick of the light that will EAT YOUR BRAINS. There’s a whole lot of blah, blah, blah before the story finally starts to unfold.

Ghost Train

Finding a hole in the tunnel wall, Nana ventures forth to find more labyrinth tunnels. It’s here she finds her sister — on top of a literal mountain of dead bodies. Then the ghost woman shows up. Then the bodies come alive. Then the bodies crawl like arthritic spiders in their general direction.

Ghost Train

A conductor friend gets them aboard a train he just happened to have parked nearby. The bodies crawl all over the tracks in turtle-speed pursuit. Time to hit the gas. While you don’t get to see the bodies crushed and munched under the train wheels, you get to hear it. Sounds like a bowl of screaming Rice Krispies™ played through a Marshall™ amp with extra knobs.

Ghost Train

Ghost Train (2006) features zero blood, some ghost stuff, and really tedious pacing. Horror-lite for commuters. I should go haunt the train station and say, “Give me what is mine,” which is a refund.

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