Sasquatch Charged With Assault

Assault of the Sasquatch

In Assault of the Sasquatch (2009), poachers with questionable hygiene and chew tobacco stained teeth snare the iconic fuzzball in one of their illegal traps meant for gummi bears and chocolate raccoons.

Assault of the Sasquatch

Getting Sas inside a carrier truck and prepped to sell to a big game hunter, the head poacher is caught red-footed and hauled off to jail and the truck driven back to the small town, where Sasquatch pounds his way out and sticks around for some payback.

Assault of the SasquatchThe police station, holding a violent criminal that ties back into the game warden’s past, becomes a refuge while Sasquatch circles and attacks over and over. (He was probably in the military before becoming a woodland tourist attraction.)

Assault of the Sasquatch

If that wasn’t enough to set the eyeballs a’rollin’, a former druggie chick/stripper, now working as an office assistant for the cop that got her off the streets, does some kung-fu street boxing with the harried beast, and actually gets in a few solid punches. Then again, this Sasquatch, with dreads and a human tooth necklace (at least that what it looked like to me), didn’t look too tough.

Assault of the Sasquatch

I never thought I’d say this about a Bigfoot movie, but the sub-plot with the cop and the violent criminal was more interesting than the monster. I need to get my priorities straightened out.

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