Ice Bugs – Heat ’n Eat

Deep Freeze

Deep Freeze (2003), also known as Chillers. Also known as Ice Crawlers. Also known as Crapsicle. No matter how many times they change the title, it’s still double lame sci-fi with no original thought given to script, dialogue, acting or special monster effects designed to make you forget all of the above.

Deep Freeze

A group of grad students are flown to the Antarctica (dumb name – there are no ants there) to figure out why the oil-drilling sub-station is experiencing earthquakes.

Deep Freeze

One bright chick student with “Welcome to McDonald’s drive-thru—may I take your order?” written all over her post-college face insists the entire continental plate is being compromised due to one five-foot drill bit. What we know that everyone else doesn’t is that a creature (or creatures) is making the whole place do the big pee shiver.

Deep Freeze

Mix in a frozen plot to blow up the place because they didn’t find any oil. The plan is to blame it on the inexperienced college students so that the corporation funding this train wreck can collect the insurance and bring back an over-sized Trilobite (prehistoric bed bug) to market as the “archaeological find of the Century.” Meanwhile, not one but two Trilobites skitter undetected around the outpost, eating people.

Deep Freeze

By the time this is figured out, most everyone has been chowed upon. Just when you think it can’t get any worse…it does. Up from the depths comes Momma Trilobite, roughly the size of three or four igloos stacked crookedly on top of each other.

Deep Freeze

Mom doesn’t do anything except screech and wiggle her limbs. This buys the token foreign guy just enough time to set the explosive charge and turn everyone into Trilo-bites (heh).

Oh, sure – the bomb shut down the station, but it couldn’t shut off my TV.

2 Responses to “Ice Bugs – Heat ’n Eat”

  1. And they reused footage from “The Thing”

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