When A Man Loves A Vermin

A cult of man-hating, half-naked (or half-dressed) chicks go around slaughtering guys who are stinky and who treat women like unsanitary napkins.

After being captured by said warriorettes, Bram Stroker, uh, Stoker, is imprisoned and soon to be ritualistically executed – by hungry rats controlled by the Queen of Vermin (Adrienne Barbeau). Because her boobs are so big, she controls the pestilent furballs with ease.

Bram convinces the queen that he could ride along with them and document their escapades, and possibly get it made into a library book. Off they go, raiding convenience stores (or, “whore houses” as they were called back in the 1800s), saving young women from being debauched.

One of the cult grrls falls for Bram and does it with him on the dungeon floor. This makes one of the other cult grrls mad, and all tampon hell breaks loose.

The appropriately titled Burial of the Rats (1995) is loaded with rats, blood, gore, swords, boobs, bare bottoms, and loin-tingling excitement. (Fun fact: I auditioned for the role of Bram Stoker but didn’t get it. Rats.)