A Maze To Amaze
In The Maze, a 1953 Goth horror semi-classic, Gerald MacTeam was on the eve of his wedding to the perky Kitty Murray when he gets a poolside telegram that his eccentric uncle who lives in a spooky ass castle with zero amenities in the Scottish Highlands, just kicked the bucket. Guess who just inherited the bucket?
Gerald has to go to the castle to pee on his uncle’s grave and promises Kitty he’ll be back in time for some spoon-fed vows and honeymoon wows. Weeks go by and Gerald hasn’t come back. (Keep running, Gerald!) So Kitty does what any woman would in a situation like this – she and her aunt Edith head to the castle with full suitcases to solve the mystery of the sparse spouse.(Hint to Kitty: he’s not hiding in the groom closet.)
Showing up unannounced and uninvited, Gerald is p*ssed – and he looks like he’s aged 20 years. Mysterious castles with a mysterious secrets will do that to you. He’s mad, irritated, stressed and restless. What – did he get married already? The two butlers aren’t much help, especially when the maid was recently murder killed in some sort of deathly fashion.
Clearly, Gerald is hiding something. And what a something it is – in the backyard is a Shining-sized hedge maze that is verboten to enter, with signs indicating as much. And castle rules also state that all guests must be in their rooms and the door locked from the outside by 9PM. Since there’s no TV or electricity to run it, might as well call it a night – or go snooping around the…MAZE!
Burning curiosity of her former fiancée, those creepy noises outside her door and those very non-human tracks all over the place drive Kitty and her aunt into the maze where they hear splashing sounds. Could it be Gerald switched teams and is having a “boys only” pool party? Or might it be the family curse finally being brought out in the open?
To give away what it is would be me sinking to new lows, which I’m not adverse to. Needless to say it’s funnier that a castle full of butlers. And Gerald’s lengthy explanation at the end even more so as it involves “the secret” and that he and his ancestors were merely its servants. Turns out Gerald was a “butler” as well. Don’t worry, Kitty – he still has the castle. And I hear there’s a pool in the backyard.