In Æon Flux (2005), the visually stylized sci-fi flub, Bregna is a gated community of the future, not allowing its residents to leave their perfect lives to go outside the walls to get in a little stink finger action in the polluted and desolate outlands. But not all is well with Bregna’s scientist controlled/manicured lawn confines – people are turning up missing. (Wow, that does not make sense.)
When the sister of the supermodel assassin Æon Flux is killed in a case of mistaken identity (someone thought she was a Monican, an underground rebel club whose sole purpose it is to wreck everyone’s idyllic lifestyle), her mission takes on a new sense of, how shall I put this, DIE KILL BLEED REVENGE.
Even though Bregna is crime-free and filled with sunshine, balloons and all the bubblegum you could ever want, the place is loaded with a wide assortment of deadly booby traps. Æon has near-super human powers and can flip around, jump over stuff and punch the chew out of your gum-filled face. And that’s just when she’s happy.
The problem with this tedious science fiction borefest isn’t Æon’s skin tight fighting suit or her incessant posing, it’s the overly-complex plot, filled with more twists than a bag of space pretzels (also free on Bregna). There’s conspiracy, DNA samples, overlord dirigibles, explosions, face-punching and runway modeling. And it drains your believe batteries.
Clearly, I wouldn’t last a day in the future. I could, however, go for some endless gum action.