Supermodel Sci-Fi

Aeon Flux

In Æon Flux (2005), the visually stylized sci-fi flub, Bregna is a gated community of the future, not allowing its residents to leave their perfect lives to go outside the walls to get in a little stink finger action in the polluted and desolate outlands. But not all is well with Bregna’s scientist controlled/manicured lawn confines – people are turning up missing. (Wow, that does not make sense.)

Aeon Flux

When the sister of the supermodel assassin Æon Flux is killed in a case of mistaken identity (someone thought she was a Monican, an underground rebel club whose sole purpose it is to wreck everyone’s idyllic lifestyle), her mission takes on a new sense of, how shall I put this, DIE KILL BLEED REVENGE.

Aeon Flux

Even though Bregna is crime-free and filled with sunshine, balloons and all the bubblegum you could ever want, the place is loaded with a wide assortment of deadly booby traps. Æon has near-super human powers and can flip around, jump over stuff and punch the chew out of your gum-filled face. And that’s just when she’s happy.

Aeon Flux

The problem with this tedious science fiction borefest isn’t Æon’s skin tight fighting suit or her incessant posing, it’s the overly-complex plot, filled with more twists than a bag of space pretzels (also free on Bregna). There’s conspiracy, DNA samples, overlord dirigibles, explosions, face-punching and runway modeling. And it drains your believe batteries.

Clearly, I wouldn’t last a day in the future. I could, however, go for some endless gum action.

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