Mammoth Fail

Mammoth

A museum curator has a completely preserved woolly mammoth encased in a block of ice, ready to over-charge people to see.

For whatever reason, he drills through the ice and extracts a transmitter that was lodged in the mammoth’s butt area. This “analometer” suddenly activates and sends out a deep space transmission to a flying sausage, uh, saucer. Said UFO makes a u-turn for earth. I don’t know why. Neither will you.

Mammoth

Out of nowhere a flaming meteor streaks across the Louisiana skies and crashes into the museum, waking up the slumbering beast. Before it goes outside to get a breath of future air, it sucks all the life force out of a museum guard via its trunk. As much as I wanted to be making that up, I’m not.

Mammoth

Later, two government agents – clearly aware of the extraterrestrial nature of the “awakening” – show up to track the monster and have space guns that presumably emit mammoth-stopping waves of some sort. After that, the whole plot gets really dumb.

Mammoth

The elephant in Mammoth (2006) looks like one of the Banana Splits™. While it does have a decent roar (I wish my car horn sounded like that – then those stinkin’ hippies would RUN), it only gores one person with its tusks of doom and stomps the entire car a guy was trying to hide under.

The whole thing is played for laughs, which falls as flat as the guy under the car is now. Someone saves the day but at what price? I get the feeling I may have paid a bigger price by watching this dud.

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