When one thinks of an ogre, it’s usually visualized as something that looks like a WWE wrestler after he’s lived in a garbage landfill for years, while wearing a diaper made out of a bear. It might also have one or fewer eyes and a Fred Flintstone club for hitting diaper-providing bears.
The ogre, though, in Legend of Ogre (aka, Kijo Densetsu/2003) is a young Japanese girl with hot pink long hair, a gray complexion and dressed in pajamas three sizes too big. Worse, the story about the punk rock ogre unleashing hell is as lame as the fake wig she wears.
Two high school girls and their female teacher go to a village out in the woods to study regional folklore. Their cell phones don’t work that far into the woods. Right outta the gate – BIG problems. Upon arriving, a screamy old woman runs up to them and speaking louder than normal, starts yelling “Ominous, ominous!” I don’t know what that means. Staying in a vacant house the girls snoop around and open a storehouse, which unleashes unimaginable horrors and…uh, yeah – not even close.
The pink-haired woman was locked up (or “imprisoned”) in the storehouse, even though she saved the village from a red dragon (told, not shown) many moons ago. Now that she’s free to model her pajamas, there’s much ominous-ing to get caught up on.
The teacher dies, as did my patience for something cool to happen. (I actually fell into a deeper sleep twice while napping through the tedious non-action.) Legend of Ogre was made with one of those consumer digital video cameras, so it looks like your neighbor filmed it. From the half-baked storyline to the day-glo hair, everyone needs to go back in the storehouse and reflect on what they’ve done.