Human Dog Food

The Pack

A dog is a man’s best friend – until dog eats man. After that, any relationship arrangement is clearly off the table. And that goes for all domesticated animals. (I’m looking in your direction, you serial killing and probably poisonous parakeets.)

Night of the Wild

So turning the tables and having dogs go after the all-you-can-eat chew toy that is your couch warmer makes for good movie watching, right? Not always. I’ll get back to that. For now, just heel and be introduced to the latest dog-unfriends-humans horror movie, The Pack, hot on the scent of the just released Night of the Wild (2015), YET ANOTHER doggone poochy predator movie.

The Pack (releasing Spring, 2016): “A farmer and his family must fight for their lives after a ferocious pack of feral wild dogs lays siege to their isolated farm. Through a series of frightening and bloody encounters, they are forced into survival mode to defend themselves from the ravenous beasts and make it through the night.”

Like daylight will make the dogs any less bite-y. Be my guest and try to pet your way out.

The Pack

In case it slipped your leash, there was a prior dogs-gone-wild horror movie with the same name. The Pack (aka, The Long Dark Night) was released in 1977, and the plot was as juicy as a mailman’s leg: “The residents of vacation spot Seal Island find themselves terrorized by a pack of dogs — the remnants of discarded pets by visiting vacationers.” The ’ol “flush the alligator down the toilet” trick when they become too much of a bother.


But even before that was a similar gone-to-the-dogs horror movie called simply, Dogs. Released in 1976, a pack of dogs go on a killing spree. Seems plausible enough. In Dogs a “biology professor tries to figure out why domestic dogs are suddenly hungry for human beings.”

Maybe the dogs got tired of eating the same old boring, non-screaming/non-bleeding bagged food out of the same dish day in and day out. Cats always get the good canned stuff –  dogs usually have to eat artificially-flavored cardboard.

The Pack

Don’t mistake The Pack for the other The Pack, released in 2010. Same title, but that one features mutant monster ghouls who, like feral dogs, have a taste for human flesh. I heard one of ’em say people taste like artificially-flavored cardboard. Hard to find canned human, though the fresh stuff is always better.

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