Aliens Give You Crabs

For some, Montauk, located in the town of East Hampton in Suffolk County, New York, on the eastern end of the south shore of Long Island, is the place to eat fresh crab, go swimming with crabs and, if you know where to party, catch crabs. Heh.

But for us in the know, Montauk is the place of government conspiracies, human experimentation, animal hybrids and, most importantly, where extraterrestrials are involved in all of the above.

Not surprising, then, that someone was gonna eventually do a movie about the mysterious place. And that movie (documentary, actually) is Montauk Chronicles (2014), just now arriving on DVD, blah, blah, blah.

The docu-drama goes a little something like this: Montauk Chronicles is about the Montauk Project, a series of experiments allegedly conducted beneath the now abandoned Camp Hero Air Force base in the aforementioned town located at the tip of Long Island, New York.”

“Through a combination of talking head interviews (three of whom are men who claim to have been experimented upon when the experiments happened throughout the 1970’s and 1980’s) and cinematic recreations which manage to produce some surreal and truly haunting visuals of malevolent aliens, grievous bodily harm, and unstable happenings of a phantasmagorical nature.”

How you could not like the word “phantasmagorical”? I like it so much, it’s now my word-of-the-day all week long.

Montauk Chronicles has been getting phantasmagorical reviews and awards, so watch this absorbing documentary and then go catch a case of the crabs. For your next phantasmagorical party. What did you think I meant?