Toasty Horror

A Nightmare on Elm Street

Freddy Krueger toast. Okay, it’s official – I’ve now seen everything.

As high camp as this is, A Nightmare on Elm Street toaster ($54.99 at BigBadToyStore.com), which burns Freddy’s image into bread, is still pretty dang cool. Hey, Jesus has been showing up in tortillas and pancakes for years. Time to share in the wealth.

The press release for this product is hilarious…

“He terrorized your dreams while you slept…and now Freddy Krueger haunts your breakfast when you wake up!”

“But don’t worry — while the Springwood Slasher may have felt the burn, your bread and bagels will only endure the perfect amount of heat, toasting the shape of Freddy’s signature bladed glove into each slice.”

“UL-tested and approved, our collectible toaster includes illuminated function buttons for Cancel, Reheat, and Frozen. The Nightmare on Elm Street logo appears on its stylish, glossy black finish. Watch out – it’s the bastard toast of a thousand loafs!”

Bastard toast of a thousand loafs. Man, that’s killer. All of a sudden I feel sorry for people on gluten-restrictive diets. One can only hope Halloween’s Michael Myers will come out with a line of pre-sliced tofu for those who vomit and get diarrhea from eating sandwiches. Ones not made at 7-Eleven™, anyway.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: