Anti-Religious Prison Shark

Only in your lifetime could this happen: Shark Exorcist – YET ANOTHER shark movie due out sometime in 2015.

Mashing up The Exorcist (1973) with Jaws (1975), Shark Exorcist involves a demonic nun unleashes holy heck when she summons the Devil to possess a man-eating shark.

Let us prey.

But wait, order now and you can get Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre (pending 2015) for the same price! Here’s part of why you should care…

“The beautiful inmates at a women’s prison in rural Arkansas concoct a daring plan to escape. It works perfectly. The guards are unable to stop them. But the ladies can’t prepare for a previously unknown menace: the Arkansas swamp shark. It hunts the escapees. It hunts the guards. It hunts every human being that it can reach. Nothing can stop it.”

Here’s the other part of why you should care: Sharkansas Women’s Prison Massacre stars legendary adult film thespian, Traci Lords. I’m thinkin’ at the MILF-ripened age of 47 she doesn’t drop top for the good of all mankind. Maybe the Arkansas swamp shark bites it off. That’d be pretty cool, you know, from a unique plot twist standpoint.

Ahem.