Picking A Bone With Skeleton Man

Schlock genre movie actor Casper Van Dien is part of YET ANOTHER commando troop wandering around the jungle to go after a paranormal whatever. This time it’s a guy wearing a black hood, cape and plastic skeleton mask purchased from the Planet Halloween™ discount bin.

The back story involves some ancient Indian guy who killed a bunch of people and somehow comes back to life, jumping in and out of a time portal to continue his stabby vocation. The military troops are unspectacularly (great word – I must use it more often) killed one by one until the leader manages to trap the “skeleton man” in a power plant and blow up the place.

Skeleton Man (2004) is so g-damn awful it almost made me consider religion as an escape. The dialogue actually hurts ears. And for once Casper Van Dien did the right thing and got himself taken out early on. Now if we can just get the Skeleton Man to do the same to whoever green-lighted this butt burrito.