Future Sci-Fi Bikini

Somewhere between existentialism, a planet-sucking garbage disposal, and painfully dumb, rubber-suited aliens, is The Fifth Element (1997), a sorta serious/sorta comedy sci-fi movie about a supermodel in a Band-Aid™ bikini who is prophesied as the ONLY ONE who can save the world from Judgment Day. Well heck – why didn’t they just put Jesus in a Speedo^®?

In the 23rd Century, a former military special agent, now a floating cab-driving loser, is re-drafted to stop a commerce-minded Zorg (first name Jean-Baptiste) from stealing ancient magic stones or (“Elements”) he got from the  rubber-suited Mangalores in trade for advanced weaponry.

Growing the “perfect being” from a sample of the Elements, scientists were able to regenerate Leeloo, the bikini’d one, when combined with the first four Elements, is foretold to stop the  “Great Evil.” She has orange hair and speaks gibberish. Could it be Future Cyndi Lauper coming to save us?

They throw everything in here: religion, space action, bombs, explosions, an intergalactic deejay, site gags, floating cabs, an opera singer with tentacles for hair. (One wonders, how does she comb it?)

Oddly, The Fifth Element is rather entertaining, especially the Band-Aid™ bikini, which never seems to come off, even when being pursued by floating police. Man, the future has some kick ass technology.