Meat – It’s Good For Every Body

 

Diary of a Cannibal

You gotta be careful who you meat, uh, meet online. Noelle and Adam connect in an online chat room called In The Garden of Eatin’ (OK, I made that part up) that’s full of delicious new people. They agree to meet in person, hold hands, smooch and rub each other’s tender loins.

Diary of a Cannibal As it turns out Noelle has a taboo-esque fetish involving the consuming of human flesh. As it also happens, Adam has a unique personality tick as well – to have his flesh dined upon. What are the odds of meeting your dinner mate on the web?

Diary of a Cannibal

Through artsy flashbacks, sparse dialogue (“Why won’t you cut out my spleen and grill it for dinner? Don’t you love me?” OK, I made that part up) and romantic music, both get their wish. The problem is, the extracting of grillables (only internal organs, not the flavor-laden buttsteak or femur soup bones) and shocking lack of blood and gore totally ruin this meal, to say nothing of the Art Institute™ level of acting.

Diary of a Cannibal

I never thought I’d ever have to say a cannibal movie was boring, but Diary of a Cannibal (2006) left a bad taste in my mouth – and not in a good way.

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