The Bat Wears A Hat

Jeepers Creepers 2

In Jeepers Creepers 2 (2003), a school bus filled with a mid-western high school football team coming back from winning a game scores a flat tire. A teacher homeworks the wheel to find a really sharp tire-poking ninja-type weapon stuck in the tire’s shredded remains – and it’s made of human bone, a common cause for flat tires.

Jeepers Creepers 2

No one responds to calls on the school bus radio. Stuck out in the middle of nowhere, the only bathroom is a sticker bush. (You don’t wanna know what they used for toilet paper.) One by one the teachers and bus driver are snatched from the street – hundreds of feet straight up in the air. They don’t come back down. See ya, wouldn’t wanna be ya.

Jeepers Creepers 2

Left to fend for themselves, the students are confronted by a hat-wearing, jacket-sporting, cannibalistic bat-winged flying creature, and in a goosebump-y sequence, are picked out in order of dining preference by the monster who hangs upside down and looks through the bus window, licking the glass as if it were a sneeze guard at an Olive Garden™ salad bar.

Jeepers Creepers 2

The tense situation inside the bus gets even more unbearable as the students, being stress-separated by racism and sexism and bullyism, are submitted to relentless attacks by Mr. Creeper, who regards the school bus as a giant Hostess Twinkie™ with a lot of screamy filling inside.

Jeepers Creepers

Another frantic call on the radio connects with the farmer dad whose son was previously eaten by the monster. He and his as yet uneaten other son track the school bus’ location out in the middle of rural nowhere and show up in an old Ford truck outfitted with a makeshift harpoon system. In one of the coolest scenes, dad harpoons the monster and it tries to fly away, all the while tethered by the rope attached to the pile-driven pointy pole. The truck is pulled along as the monster tries to fly yonder, dives and jerks like a fish on a line.

Jeepers Creepers 2

More great action as the monster breaks free and goes for the kids, who are running and screaming like me at an all-you-can-drink beer sale. During the hunt the creature gets dismembered, but his outer husk still won’t die. I totally want to reveal the twist ending, but I won’t. This time. But I will tell you what you’re getting for Christmas.

Jeepers Creepers 2

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