Putting A Name On Horror

Two things I really anti-like about horror movies – besides the two dozen previous gripes – is the use of the word “dark” in the title (it should be banned and whoever violates it should be forced to wear white clothes for an entire day), and any horror film with a title that sounds anything but a horror film.

I assign an example of this grievance to Starry Eyes (2014), a psychological horror movie whose title actually makes you not want to watch it. Which is too bad, because the plot is tantalizing, much like an unattended plate of oatmeal raisin cookies…

“Determined to make it as an actress in Hollywood, Sarah Walker spends her days working a dead-end job, enduring petty friendships and going on countless casting calls in hopes of catching her big break.”

“After a series of strange auditions, Sarah lands the leading role in a new film from a mysterious production company. But with this opportunity comes bizarre ramifications that will transform her both mentally and physically into something beautiful…and altogether terrifying.”

I bet something terrifying happens.

Since Hollywood never listens to me, I doubt some horror filmmakers just won’t get a clue and give their art something a lot more marketable. Heck it could be as simple as adding phrases like “death smack,” “kill-butt” or “blood explosion.” I double dog dare you to not go see a movie with anyone of those brilliant, nay, solid gold, suggestions.

P.S. Starry Kill-Butt Death Smack Blood Explosion Eyes is available on VOD and iTunes™ November 14, 2014