You Just Ate Your Date

Skinned Alive

Jeffrey is a painfully lonely young man who works as an insurance salesman schlub by day and a purchaser of professional women’s services by night. He wants female company so bad, he even asks heavily perfumed night workers out on dates. A big hell no. It appears even hookers have standards.

Skinned Alive

This until he meets Pandora, a woman who turns out to be everything he ever wanted – and a little more. She’s a cannibal, only able to eat flesh instead of bologna sandwiches or Applebee’s™ chili fries. Cheap date, so score for Jeff.

Skinned Alive

Pandora eats her clients, whom nobody seems to miss. (When you see ’em, you’ll understand why.) But Pandora starts falling for Jeffrey and they begin dating. Normally on the third date the girl lets the guy feel her up. But it isn’t until after he proposes marriage (jumping the gun – he doesn’t even know her last name) does she confesses her “nature.” “Are you Jewish?” “No – I’m an abomination of God,” she replies. “So you’re a Mormon…” That’s pretty dang funny.

Skinned Alive

No sex, though lots of boobies. Realistic epidermis munching helps flesh out (sorry) the plot, and though the premise is lurid, at its heart Skinned Alive (2008) is a feel good love story to be shared by all.

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