The Light, The Dark, The Radioactive Cow

Night Watch

The forces of Dark battle the do-gooding p*ssies of Light. This is exactly what the ancient prophecies warned us about, even going so far as to even use the word “p*ssies” in the script. What are they fighting about? Hell if I know; this Russian fantasy sci-fi movie made about as much sense as borscht, which I believe is either motherland soup or some sort of radioactive cow.

Night Watch

The Night Watch are patrollers with superhuman abilities, not unlike a radioactive cow. Their job is to keep the Others, who are vampires – but not with capes or fangs – out of their business. Apparently, both sides are equally balanced. Tip the balance and whichever side it leans to, wins everything.

Night Watch

So Geser, the Lord of Light has a sit down with Zabulon, General of the Dark, and a truce is suggested. If each side is equally matched, they’ll both destroy themselves. Cool for me, not cool for them. So while they wait for the coming of The Great One (see Day Watch) who will decide which teams wins everything, they gotta chill. Of course, they don’t, and humanity is caught in the middle.

Night WatchEven though most of Night Watch (2004) went over my head, this is a highly imaginative something or rather with wild characters and radioactive cows. One part of that sentence is wrong.

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