Alien Baseball Mitt

Meatball Machine

An alien baseball mitt with tentacles needs someone with raging emotions to activate it. Enter Sachicko, a fetching young gal who is the target of date rapers and a daughter-beating father. Seething with unexpressed explosion anger, the alien encases her in wicked body armor and steers her boat via the host’s nervous system.

Meatball Machine

Sachiko is now a Necroborg and has veins on the outside of her face. All messed up and nowhere to go, except we learn the alien life forms have come to Earth to inhabit our bodies then engage in battle with each other. The loser gets eaten alive. In other words, they’re using us as part of a gaming battle ritual. Double not cool, alien baseball mitts.

Meatball Machine

Necro-Sachiko and Yoji, a would-be suitor back when body parts looked like stuff you’d see in JCPenney™ catalogs and also alien infected, fight it out. But Yoji can’t bring himself to eat his would’a-been girlfriend, so thanks to a bomb he swallowed earlier, he now has the upper tentacle on the alien inside his body. (This Japanese gore rodeo is kinda hard to follow what with people growing new mechanical limbs and/or eaten alive.)

Meatball Machine

The gore and effects in the descriptively titled Meatball Machine (2005) are choco-extreme, as are the Necroborgs and their power drill super arms. Blood and gunk spray everywhere as if being used as an air freshener. I feel sorry for Yoji having to drill his lady, but that b*tch would’ve been a serious and literal pain in the ass. Couldn’t tell who came out ahead on this one, though, as it’s that splattery.

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