Extreme Wizardry

The Boxer's Omen

A mysterious ghost monk needs a revenge-seeking gangsta’s help, and leads him to a temple where the criminal finds out he’s the ancestral twin of the monk who was murdered by a bad wizard and can’t achieve immortality until the curse is lifted.

The Boxer's Omen

Here’s the b*tch of it all – he’s due to die in two weeks. So he trains to be a Buddhist monk, shaves his head, swears off pre-marital sex, booze, drugs and all the good-for-you things in life. If I had two weeks to live, I’d do the EXACT OPPOSITE of that last sentence.

The Boxer's Omen

The impending black magic battle is where this sucker gets disgustingly surreal: a chicken is cut open, its guts eaten raw and regurgitated and to create spells. Spiders with poisonous needles attack; The wizard pulls his own head off and uses the dangling veins and muscle tissue to tie up the new monk.

The Boxer's Omen

A freakin’ huge alligator is later cut open and its guts eaten. A maggot-covered mummy is stuffed in the belly of the unfortunate reptile, additional regurgitation, a few spells, lovely scented candles and a naked evil priestess is reborn out of the gator to battle the new monk. All of the above: ick.

The Boxer's Omen

But thinking he had previously bested the bad wizard, the gangsta lied to Buddha and goes back to his pre-marital sex ways. So the curse is reinstated unless he can find the deceased monk’s Golden Ashes from another temple way the fart far away and do battle with the priestess and bad wizard one more freakin’ time. The animal gut eating is real, as are the maggots. I’m not sure if the bad wizard really pulled his own head off, but it sure looked authentic to me.

The Boxer's Omen

Boobies, blood, body goosh, alligator gut feasts, maggots… You can look but you aren’t likely to find a horror movie as surreal and messed up as The Boxer’s Omen (1983). And I try ALL the time. P.S. If I screwed up describing the plot, it’s because the movie is in Japanese and I don’t know what that is.

Leave a Reply

Fill in your details below or click an icon to log in:

WordPress.com Logo

You are commenting using your WordPress.com account. Log Out / Change )

Twitter picture

You are commenting using your Twitter account. Log Out / Change )

Facebook photo

You are commenting using your Facebook account. Log Out / Change )

Google+ photo

You are commenting using your Google+ account. Log Out / Change )

Connecting to %s

%d bloggers like this: